


A Christmas Carol in Alexandria

by Joifull1st



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joifull1st/pseuds/Joifull1st
Summary: A retelling of the classic Charles Dickens story but with a TWD S6 twist. Rick Grimes is so engrossed in protecting Alexandria, he may be missing the chance at a brighter future with those he loves.
Relationships: Rick Grimes/Michonne
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. The Eve

**Author's Note:**

> A/N**~~ Hey Everyone, this story is obviously a response to Andy's upcoming portrayal of Scrooge in the upcoming play but it was a special request from TaeDeadWalking! I had to rewatch so many versions of A Christmas Carol to remember everything and adapt it to fit Rick and TF. I hope I've done her and you all right lol  
> So this is taking us back to the beginning of S6. It's a retelling of those events from S6 Ep1 and really the whole season. Obviously, there are some things I needed to change to make this fit but I don't think I butchered them too much. This will be a five-part series, that I will release every few days leading up to Christmas.  
> I hope you all enjoy it, let me know what you think.  
> But without further ado,

A Christmas Carol in Alexandria  
The citizens of Alexandria were physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Rick's plan to divert the massive hoard away from their home had worked. The retention walls at Marshall and Redding roads held, curving the dead and sending them west, away from home.  
The air that filled their lungs was a gift, they knew now. Rick had warned them that they weren't ready and their luck would run out and it had. What should have been a practice run turned into the real thing. The earth that supported one of the semi-trucks blocking the road headed straight to Alexandria collapsed. The crews that went out for the rehearsal were shaken but happy that their last bits of luck had them present, when it occurred. Otherwise, the whole herd would have made it to their front gates surrounding them forty deep on all sides. There would have been little to no chance at escape from that.  
Even though, the mission was accomplished they were almost sidetracked. A group that had found Aaron's lost backpack discovered their location. They called themselves Wolves, they learned from their now captured leader, Owen. Their survival strategy was to find others that were clinging to life and destroy what they had created. Once they were dispatched, they would take what was left behind, carving W's into their victims foreheads as reminders.  
The Wolves threw Molotov cocktails over the walls of Alexandria in hopes of smoking the residents out. Frightening them into chaos, all a distraction before they planned on driving a truck through its walls. They assumed the strongest amongst them had departed to deal with the quarry full of walkers.  
But Rick would never split all his forces so haphazardly. There were fighters at home, Maggie, Carol, Carl, Rosita and Aaron. Tara, even though injured insisted on helping. Anyone else that was willing to fight, split between these leaders and followed their instructions.  
A bit more of that luck came into play, Carol put away her Suzie Homemaker façade that day. She wasn't as good a shot as Sasha but she took up guard in the tower. Rick placed her there after Spenser's slipup of trusting Father Gabriel to be responsible for closing the gate that allowed walkers in the night of Reginald and Pete's deaths.  
Carol spotted the Wolves that ran forward to throw their bombs and she nearly trained her sights to pick them off, but she heard the distant sound of an engine in the distance. She used her walkie talkie to inform Maggie of the imminent attack and prepared for the big rig to come into view. After taking a deep breath, she shot numerous times at the cabin in hopes of hitting the driver. Even though she was on the passenger side she had somehow managed to hit him stopping the truck before it crashed into a barrier wall of the town.  
But the horn began to blare, the sound was probably loud enough to draw the walkers in the herd off the path heading away from Alexandria. Through the smoke and flames, Carol could see Spenser running through the gates towards the vehicle. She quickly shot any Wolves that stood in his way giving him a clear path. Once Spenser was there he pulled the door to the cabin open and the dead driver fell out. He scrambled inside and flipped the switch, presuming that the dead man's body weight had triggered it. Spenser was breathing a small sigh of relief when the body on the ground began to reanimate, his awkward position leaning into the truck left him vulnerable. Suddenly, a wooden staff appeared, spearing the corpses skull. Spenser clutched his chest and looked to the side to see its owner, Morgan.  
The men were both on edge, raising their weapons when Carol appeared. She lowered her facial bandana to show it was indeed her and not a Wolf that she'd disguised herself as. The trio entered Alexandria and defended their home with the others who fought inside.  
Rick had called frantically on the walkie when he heard the horn. After a few minutes, Maggie let him know they could handle this situation so the ones out dealing with the major threat could continue. He was happy with his decision to leave some of his best people behind for the rehearsal. The blare of the horn was stopped quickly and they were able to pull most of the walkers that had deviated back on course.  
Even with this optimal outcome, Rick still was troubled with the casualties that had occurred during this operation. Carter, Sturgess, Barnes, Davis, Anne and others he had never learned the names of.

The Eve   
Rick stood in front of the memorial wall while Nicholas's name was being added. His nostrils were filled with the stench of the dead combined with his own musk. The smell reminding him of his inaptitude's. A punishment he bestowed upon himself as though somehow being clean would grant him clemency for his failures. He rubbed his bandaged hand down his face stopping to pinch the bridge of his nose. His hand still smarted from reopening his wounds but he reveled in it. The pain letting him know he was indeed still alive. Maybe if he had have taken this place when they first arrived he could have done more. He could have had these weak people prepared. But he second guessed himself wanting to believe that magic could still exist. That a world full of the walking dead could still have a place for his children and family to thrive.  
Rick exited the gates and began walking the perimeter outside the community looking for anything unusual to be found while he thought.  
A week had passed since the quarry had been cleared. Glenn had been suspected dead when they lost contact, but he and Enid came stumbling back up to the front gate. He told a harrowing tale of hiding underneath a dumpster for two days after Nicolas had a mental break and committed suicide. Enid found Glenn, gave him food and water and the two made the journey back home together.  
Daryl, Sasha and Abraham returned also, after leading the mega herd far from home. They reported to Rick an encounter with a group of guys on motorcycles. Abe had the good fortune to find a grenade launcher on a dead military member and Daryl used it to blow the men that threatened them to kingdom come. In their explanation of theirs travels, they stressed that they believed these men to be a part of a larger group calling themselves Negan.  
Not only was this news troublesome to Rick but the fact that some Wolves had managed to escape as well. Morgan with his new belief system had spared their lives, believing they could change without their leaders hold on them. However, on the journey back to Alexandria, Rick encountered a group of them attempting to ambush him at the Winnebago. He managed to fight and kill the two that snuck inside. After, he shot and killed the remaining would be attackers as they creep along the side with a semiautomatic rifle. But Rick could never be sure if there were more of them out there, waiting for the next chance to attack them.  
In the melee, the steering column was destroyed which meant Rick had to walk home, dispatching straggler walkers he encountered. With his walkie damaged, he was unable to communicate with anyone. He didn't know what he would find when he arrived but he just kept saying that he was correct when he told everyone to stay the course because the ones at home had to be trusted to handle whatever it was.  
Rick had to admit there was a small part of him that feared he'd return to nothing and no one. That he'd have to relive waking in that hospital bed all alone, all over again. Fear, confusion and disorientation flooded back to him suffocating any positive thoughts. But as he drew closer, he found the walls still intact. Most of his family had somehow made it back before him and the others just days after.  
With the recovery efforts mostly completed, survival ground workings were well underway. Rosita lead classes on machete training, Abe and Sasha taught gun and rifle instruction. Morgan had become some sort of aikido master and held classes on protection with the use of every day common items as weapons. Each sentry was paired with an experienced fighter to shadow.  
Even with all of this increase in preparedness, Rick still refused to let his guard down. He barely slept from constant patrols. He wanted updates on the progress of the Alexandrians that had stepped up. He didn't want his family to endanger themselves anymore for these people. He asked Daryl, Aaron, Heath and Tara to venture out on exploration trips to find any signs of Wolves or these so called Negan people.  
Maggie had taken over temporarily as de facto assistant leader since Deanna was still grieving the loss of her son, Aidan and husband, Reg. This suit Rick just fine, he didn't have time to coddle anyone so Maggie could handle that. Security was the most important item as far as he was concerned so he lived it, breathed it, bathed in it.  
Only his family was brave enough to communicate with him and he had to admit their visits with him were becoming scarce as well. Everyone else in Alexandria gave him a wide path. He'd get looks at times but it was more likely them avoiding eye contact with him. Even after his efforts had saved them, they still treated him like he was a mad man for brandished a gun after beating Pete nearly to death.  
Yet, Rick had a new frustration, after everything that these people had experienced they had the nerve to want a break.  
"Rick." He continued walking even though he heard someone approaching him.  
"Rick! Dude, don't ignore me." bellowed Glenn.  
Rick slowed himself to a stop turning to face the man. "I don't have time for this right now. I'm-"  
"Checking the perimeter wall for the hundredth time in days. I know."  
Rick sighed and placed his hands on his hips preparing himself for the lecture that was coming. Glenn used his thumb to point back to the entryway into the community.  
"We can talk right here. What is it?" Glenn glared at him holding his own stance.  
Rick took a deep breath and began walking the direction Glenn had requested. The two men walked side by side but remained aware of their surroundings.  
"I think this is a good idea."  
"Glenn, how can you say that with everything that's happened?"  
"That's exactly why I'm saying it. They have been through a lot..." Rick side eyed him.  
"Not as much as us but that's not the point. We asked them to step their game up and they have. We survived two attacks in a matter of hours."  
Rick nodded his agreement. "That's how quickly this could all fall apart. So they need to stay vigilant. Something like this could throw them off course. And maybe… we don't survive the next one. What more do they need? They have walls, running water, electricity and relative safety."  
"I think we should give them this because we want them to be ready for the next one. If this is all we have to live for people will lose hope. Hope is what they need to be ready for that next fight."  
The two men arrived at the entrance and Rick could see Tara scrambled down the wall to grant them passage, leaving Spenser on the scaffolding. As she pulled the gate she winced and held her side.  
"Tara, what the hell are you doing?"  
"What?" she was confused.  
"He should have opened the gate." He gestured to Spenser, who looked nervous. "You are still injured you shouldn't be up here risking your life again for these people!" Rick shouted at her.  
Tara looked at him in anger and stuck her middle finger up at him. Rick balked at her gesture and stormed up the road with Glenn hot on his trail.  
"Hey, Dumbass!" Rick walked rapidly but Glenn caught up and kept pace.  
"The way you are acting you won't have anyone on your side at the end of this."  
"It won't matter cause they'll still be alive." Rick barked at him as they neared his home.  
"Come on man. It's just a Christmas party." Glenn reasoned.  
Rick stopped at his porch to face his friend. He tapped his fingers against his leg as he thought.  
"Fine."  
"Fine?" Glenn was surprised.  
"Go ahead and have your Christmas party. Everyone should still-"  
Glenn cut him off. "Take their shifts on patrol or watch, of course. Rick, this will be really great for morale."  
Rick just nodded wanting the conversation to be over.  
"We are having it at Deanna's town house." Rick raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, we kind of figured you would allow it eventually. Or we hoped you would. You should come by."  
"Naw, I'm good."  
Glenn sighed and began to back away then he paused.  
"You know Rick, there was a time when I thought you considered me your best friend." Rick just stood there, staring at Glenn who looked disheartened before he turned and departed.

Rick walked up his steps, removing his keys from his pocket and took a deep breath before turning the knob to enter. He was greeted with the sight of a grinning Michonne strolling around bouncing a giggling Judith in her arms. The vision nearly warmed his heart before she looked at him with concern evident in her eyes.  
"Hey." He stated as he walked over to Michonne immediately smelling her sweet cocoa butter scent. He rubbed his daughters head and kissed it before carrying on to the kitchen to grab his water bottle from the fridge. Michonne watched as he chugged half of it down then headed for the front door.  
"Rick." It was beginning to feel like sighing was his only form of communication these days.  
"You're going back out?" he nodded.  
"Yeah, Glenn stopped me for completing my rounds."  
"You should rest. I know you plan on upping your patrol tomorrow during the party." Rick raised a hand in question.  
"So you all were just gonna have this party without my consent."  
Michonne's eyes widened and he rethought his tone.  
"I just find it funny that everyone's asking me for permission but you clearly planned on having it anyway."  
It was Michonne's turn to take a deep breath. "Remember what I told you before, about us being out there too long."  
Rick stepped closer to her and nodded.  
"I think you are still out there." Rick bobbed his head.  
"Someone needs to keep their mind out there. These people still aren't ready and our people don't need to get weak."  
Michonne adjusted Judith to her hip and her breast jiggled. Rick looked up and chewed his lip to avoid staring at them, even though that's what he desired to do.  
"Really? We are in here… together."  
Rick adjusted his stance. "A new threat could be imminent; we don't have the time to bring them along. Since we've been here we haven't had a chance to catch our breath."  
"We are catching our breath right now. That's what the party is for, anything else is just excuses." Michonne licked her heart shaped lips and Rick had to force himself to keep his eyes up.  
"You stay, get some rest. You can go back out later." Michonne negotiated with him.  
From her words he suddenly felt all the weight of his actions crash on to him. He couldn't stifle the yawn that escaped his mouth and Michonne chuckled. Her bright white smile once again present for him even if he didn't deserve it. She moved Judy to her other hip and turned for the door.  
"You're leaving?"  
"Yeah, we all found some Christmas decorations in most of the houses so we are going to decorate the town. Even if it's just for one day. Make it as festive as we can." She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk away.  
"Michonne…" she looked him in the eye expectantly. "Are you still with me?" she smirked slightly.  
"Yes, Rick. I'm still with you." She took Judith's hand and made her wave bye-bye to him and left.  
Rick was relieved to still have Michonne's devotion even when he knew he was behaving like an ass. He walked over to the armchair and collapsed in it. He closed his eyes but he could hear the sound of boots descending the stairs. He looked over to see Carl headed his direction. Rick could have sworn the boy had gotten taller in the last few weeks. His hair was definitely longer blocking a bit of his eyes. But the look on his son's face was all business as he sat on the couch and faced him.  
Rick was beginning to think he was a part of some intervention.  
"Spit it out."  
"I'm not scared for them anymore. You told them, so they could hear you." Carl leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.  
"Then what are you afraid of? Is it these people dying? Because anyone who does, just makes it easier for the rest of us to survive."  
Carl's pupils dilated in shock.  
"Less dead weight for us to carry and more resources to be shared with the strong."  
"Dad, you can't mean that."  
Rick sat stone still and stared at his son and Carl exhaled deeply.  
"Then what is it, Carl?"  
"You should come to the Christmas party." Rick shook his head side to side and pressed himself back into the chair.  
"We don't even know if it's Christmas."  
"They've been here the whole time and they kept a track of dates, so it is Christmas Eve or close enough." Rick grunted before Carl continued.  
"This is something we all need to celebrate."  
"No, we all need to be safe." Rick argued.  
"I'm just waiting for you to say buh humbug next." Carl was exasperated. "What's the point of being safe if we can't build any memories. Glenn and Maggie deserve this. Daryl, Morgan, Sasha and Tara. We all deserve this. Michonne does and Judith too." Rick rubbed his temple but didn't respond annoying Carl.  
"You're being an idiot." Rick sat up straight then, his eyes challenging his son.  
"I was in the window; I saw when Michonne left to go set up decorations."  
"So?" Rick didn't understand and Carl stood for emphasis.  
"Scott was out there to meet her." Rick raised an eyebrow.  
"You need to go to the party!" Carl stomped off to the front door.  
"Where are you going?"  
"I'm going to the gazebo to see Enid, because I'm not an idiot."  
"Carl!" Rick yelled as he jumped up from his seat to follow his son.  
By time he got to the front door Carl was already down the stairs.  
"And take a bath, you smell hideous! Merry Christmas!" Carl shouted sarcastically before taking off into a sprint.  
Rick cursed under his breath and slammed the door closed and locked it. He couldn't believe Carl had been so disrespectful to him. Carl confessed to him of how he yelled at him after the fall of the prison but he was unconscious and didn't hear any of it.  
Rick was pissed but he figured chasing his son down and confronting him right now wouldn't do him any good, so he stomped upstairs to his bedroom. Kicked off his boots and sat on the bed. Rick wanted his son to be observant but now he was using his gaze on him and he didn't appreciate it.  
Rick needed to do something to release this energy so he removed his gun belt, pulling his red handled machete from its sheath and eyed the blade. He went to the top drawer and retrieved his stone, sitting back on the bed and began to sharpen it. The sound of the steel sliding across the stone made a sort of odd noise but Rick ignored it and continued. The sound only seemed to intensify with each swipe and he was about to stop when he heard his name being called.  
"Rick."  
Faint at first, but then it increased.  
"Rick Grimes."  
He looked up to see someone standing in the middle of the closed door. Any normal person would react in some alarmed manner to this but Rick just chuckled to himself.  
"You aren't scared?"  
"Nope, this isn't my first rodeo with seeing things, Bob."  
The form of Bob Stookey solidified and moved further into the room. His leg was still missing, blood dripped from his mouth and he was disheveled, reminiscent of when Daryl and Glenn had found him. He used heavy chains that were wrapped around him as a crude counter balance to center his weight so he didn't tip over as he hopped forward.  
"Well, don't you want to know why I'm here?"  
"Nope, not really." Rick slid the machete into its holder leaving his weapons belt on the side of the bed.  
"It's been a while since we spoke. You know back at Gabriel's church."  
"Yeah, I remember. You died." Bob didn't blanche at his harshness.  
"Yeah, I did. Can you believe they ate my leg while was still alive?" Bob chuckled and Rick looked at him oddly.  
"I figured I deserved so much worst, then what I actually got."  
"What? You were a medic in the Army. You were a good guy, Bob."  
"In the end, I tried to be but I struggled. I guess, I was too late." Bob looked down.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Zack, died at the Big Spot supermarket because of me. I only went so I could get a bottle of liquor. I thought I was cursed after my first two groups all died, leaving me the sole survivor. Some nights, I couldn't sleep so drinking anything is what got me through the night."  
"But you got us the medicine and supplies we needed to survive the illness at the prison."  
"I almost got Daryl, Tyreese and Michonne killed at the veterinary college. I threatened to shoot them over a bottle of brandy." Rick looked stunned.  
"Yeah, I figured they didn't tell you." Bob hobbled closer looking wretched. "I didn't tell Sasha how I felt until we were on the train tracks to Terminus. At the prison, I kept thinking I had to wait until we were in the right place or that she wouldn't want to reciprocate. All the fear of rejection created… was wasted time."  
Rick stared off into the distance.  
"Why are you here to visit me, Bob?"  
"You said this wasn't your first experience with ghosts."  
"I never said ghosts, more like hallucinations." Rick waved his hand in the air.  
"Well, you are in for a night my friend." Rick looked to him and Bob stumbled closer still, somehow kneeling in front of him so they were face to face.  
"Tonight, you will be visited by three ghosts… spirits… hallucinations?" Bob shrugged and Rick rolled his eyes.  
"The first at one AM, the second at two and the last, right at the last strike of three."  
"Why wait? Why can't they just all come at once and get it over with. I don't have time to sit around waiting for a phone to ring, I have patrols to conduct." Bob glared at him and stood.  
Now, his body eerily drifting so he didn't have to hop and he floated over to the window.  
"This is your chance Rick, to escape the nightmare. The nightmare shouldn't end who you are."  
"Yeah, that's just some dead man's opinion." Rick responded coldly.  
Bob shook his head in despair and levitated into the window sill.  
"Just remember three sprits at one, two, and three." Bob glided out the window, fading as he went.  
Rick rubbed his eyes and touched his face, he flexed his hand so the ache was triggered. He had gone through all of this before at the prison and he thought he was past it. Nothing traumatic had happened to trigger this trip, so he rationalized he must be experiencing it from his apparent exhaustion.  
Michonne must be correct, like she always was and he needed to rest. He slid himself back on the mattress and laid his head on the pillow. He glanced at his wristwatch, 10:34PM, it read.  
Rick snickered to himself thinking about Carl's comment and mumbled to himself. "Buh Humbug."  
He closed his eyes, refusing to be pulled back into his minds out of control spiral and promptly fell asleep.


	2. Blinding Light

Blinding Light  
Rick felt the mattress dip behind him, yet only silence filled the air. Apparently, he had turned over in his sleep and was now on his side. He waited but nothing tore into him, removing pieces of flesh to satisfy its hunger. He turned over slowly to discover who or what had disturbed his sleep.  
Even before his eyes opened a light was shining through his eyelids. He could barely get his eyes open fully, instead he squinted and placed an arm up to block the blinding light that infiltrated his bedroom. The light finally dimmed somewhat as it distanced itself from him. Rick fought for his eyes to adjust lowering his arm to make out a figure that now stood a few paces from his bed.  
"Are you the spirit that's come to visit me?"  
"I am."  
Rick jumped up from the bed when he recognized the voice. He rubbed his eyes and strained to see.  
There stood, in a white satin dress, Lori. Her brown hair shiny and long down her sides. Her cheeks pink and fuller like they were in her youth.  
"What is this?" Rick breathed deeply to calm his rapid heartrate.  
"Bob told you about the visits tonight?"  
"Yeah, but he didn't say who they would be from."  
"Well, that's the easy part. Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come."  
Rick rubbed his head trying to make sense of the situation.  
"Rick, I've come here to remind you of something."  
Lori floated over and he backed away, but she was quicker than him.  
"You have to come with me." She grasped his arm but he made himself stiff so she couldn't move him. Rick became despondent and looked to the floor beneath him.  
"Is…is this that place from the phone calls? With Amy, Jim, Jaqcui and you?" He looked up at Lori and she smiled.  
"No, just come with me Rick."  
She pulled him with a strength she never possessed in real life, leading him to the window. Even though Rick didn't want to admit it, he was frightened.  
"We are on the second floor."  
Lori rotated to him and touched his chest. An electric spark similar to being touched by someone sliding around with socks on carpet struck him.  
"Now you can follow me without fear."  
Lori dragged Rick to the window, latching on to him and jumped from the window sill. Rick couldn't help the yelp that erupted from his throat as he felt his body plummet. He squeezed his eyes closed and braced for impact.  
Instead, he felt his feet softly impact the ground. With his eyes still closed he tapped a foot down to make sure his assumptions were correct. He heard Lori giggle and he unclenched his eyelids.  
Right before him was a toddler in a playpen, the babies back to him. Rick looked around the room and instantly recognized it. His house back in King County. He stood in the living room of his old home so that must be…Carl.  
The baby turned to reach for a stuffed animal beside him revealing his cherub face. Rick was overcome with wistfulness, remembering Carl in his younger years before anyone knew what was in store for the world. When he looked at the teenager now, he could still see bits of that baby face, but he rarely had time to think on the physical evolution of his child, he just thought of his safety.  
Rick stepped forward, wanting to hold his son but something passed through him, disorienting him for a moment. It was Lori headed to the playpen to pick Carl up. Rick looked to the Lori Spirit next to him and it continued to watch the scene, so he turned back also. Carl stretched his arms out and chortled his happiness at his mother's arrival. Lori smiled and tickled his belly making him giggle more.  
Rick watched the heartwarming scene until a gust of air whirled past him letting him know someone was entering the home. Lori carried Carl towards the front hall and Rick followed along with the Spirit, to see a younger version of himself removing his duty jacket and kicking his boots off. He saw himself beaming a smile at his family. He had already placed his Sheriff's Deputy hat on the hook and he came to kiss and rub Carl's head, making the baby cackle. He pecked Lori's lips and they walked further into the house.  
"I was able to get it."  
"Really, Rick?"  
"Yeah." They smiled as they sat on the couch.  
"Leon took my shift so I could be here with you two."  
"Baby, that's amazing. We definitely have to give him a nice gift."  
"Yeah, I'll switch one of the ones we were going to give to someone else." Lori playfully whacked his arm and laughed.  
"I have to work early the day after." Rick woefully stated.  
"It doesn't matter as long as you are home for Christmas." Lori smiled at Rick and they leaned in for another kiss. Carl began to protest for their attention making them snicker but separate. Lori allowed Carl to scramble to his father's lap where he was fighting to get access. Rick picked him up and began to blow raspberries on his son's neck making him giggle uncontrollably.  
"I remember this Christmas." Rick looked to the spirit then around the room.  
A fir tree stood in the corner with presents piled under it. Red, gold and green decorations lined the crown molding while monogrammed stockings hung on the fireplace heavy with stuffers inside.  
"We were so happy then. It was our first Christmas in our new home."  
"It's been so long since you allowed yourself to be happy." Lori's spirit stated and Rick stared at her.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I felt when you started to have that feeling again."  
A dizzying feeling struck Rick as thought he was moving faster than he intended. As though his brain couldn't keep up with his body's movement, yet he remained still. He blinked to clear his mind and when he opened his eyes, he stood in the prisons yard.  
"How the hell?" he looked around confused.  
Rick didn't have time to acclimate when he heard the familiar whistle, prompting him to nearly ran for the gate. But a past version of himself and Carl beat him to the punch. Releasing the heavy doors that kept the walkers out and them safe inside. Michonne gracefully galloped through the entry they provided. He and Carl quickly closed everything back up to run and greet her.  
Just this vision of Michonne returning gave him butterflies. He remembered how happy he was to see her but he fought the urge to truly express it to her. She was willing to venture out all alone to find their enemy, allowing him to remain behind, to give up the fight for his own mental well-being. She was beautiful, smart and strong. A survivor just like him. Better than him and he admired her for it.  
Rick listened in on the interaction while watching Carl light up from her presence. Then his excitement over their shared love of comic books that Michonne had managed to bring back for them to share. Rick listened more intensely since she was about to address him again.  
"And I found this. Your face is losing the war."  
Rick laughed now, the warm feeling flooding him that she'd thought of him on her mission to find the Governor. That she'd maybe missed his face, the way he'd missed hers. He'd missed more than just her lovely face but he always wanted to be respectful so he'd never be on the wrong end of her katana. So he allowed himself what he hoped were subtle glances at her amazing body whenever they passed one another.  
The scavenging convoy had driven down through the prison yard and Daryl slowed his bike to greet Michonne. If Rick were being honest, there were a few moments of envy when Michonne and Daryl would go on runs together. They would have conversations about things no one else was privy to, making him jealous. Rick wanted desperately to have that connection with her but then he settled for the silent exchanges they had with just a few moments of eye contact.  
"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon." Michonne stated to him and Daryl.  
The displeasure hit him like a ton of bricks when she told them of her plans to venture out again, even further this time. Michonne always had a plan to go after Philip from when they first met but she missed her shot because of Andrea's betrayal. Rick wanted her there and safe in those prison walls with him, but he couldn't tell her what to do. Even Carl was upset when she volunteered to go on a run to the Big Spot after only just arriving. Rick stood there watching himself open the gates to allow her to leave all over again, wishing he had have acknowledged his feelings.  
Lori's voice interrupted him, having forgot completely about her presence. "There was so much happening at the prison that you didn't realize."  
"Huh?" again he blinked and they were inside the tombs. He could hear Glenn and Maggie speaking from their cell. Rick stepped back to hide and Lori chuckled.  
"They can't see you, did you forget?"  
"It's just weird, it feels like I'm invading their privacy." He motioned in the air.  
"Well, I could just tell you." Rick still hid around the corner and nodded.  
"They think Maggie may be pregnant." Rick was dumbstruck.  
"But why would they with everything that…" Rick looked to Lori's stomach even though it was now flat.  
"With what happened to me, you mean?" Rick nodded.  
"They believed we were building something, a future."  
"Did Glenn go…on a run? Like for you." Rick was nervous to ask.  
"Oh no, Rick. It was just a false alarm. But even though they were relieved at the time since a war was brewing, it caused a new hope to grow in their relationship." Rick nodded in understanding.  
"Something was taking root in you too." Lori snapped her fingers.  
Rick closed his eyes and flashes of several memories from his not too distant past appeared before him. They were so rapid that he wished to slow them down but couldn't. He craved the opportunity to relish them, but they moved too quickly from one to the other.  
His first sighting of Michonne at the gate holding her leg, carrying the formula he desperately needed for Lil Ass Kicker. The cabin they were hiding in as she guided them to Woodbury to get Glenn and Maggie back. How she took down the insane man to save them, no questions asked, not flinching when he used the body as a walker distraction. Michonne asking to return with them to the prison after she had clearly been in a fight for her life.  
Rick's mind continued to throw images at him but now emotions were added in. He could feel the spark in his fingertips when they exchanged the bullet at the King County Sheriff station.  
"I used to talk to my dead boyfriend. It happens."  
His heart began to flutter from the gratefulness of her understanding, compassion and mostly, for not passing judgment on him during his mental breaks. When she told him she understood his dilemma concerning trading her to the Governor, which alleviated some of his guilt, when she had every right to be bitter and angry after she had shown her loyalty. His eyes looking down to catch a glimpse of her plump ass moving away from him after his near confession.  
The sound of fingers snapping made Rick open his eyes.  
He immediately knew where he was. The house that he recovered in once he and Carl escaped the ruins of the prison. He could hear laughing coming from the kitchen. As he walked closer, he saw his bruised and battered self, pretending to be asleep on the couch but really eavesdropping on Michonne and Carl's conversation.  
"Carl had been so upset with me before I died that I thought he'd never open himself to maternal love again." Rick stopped to look at Lori and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.  
Lori continued. "You know Michonne didn't think she could love a child, let alone two, again."  
Rick was confounded now.  
"Oh, don't try to convince me that you never sensed it. That she was a mother before."  
Rick looked to Michonne from his spot in the hallway, a new sadness crackled in his chest for her. However, he was pleased that her and Carl were building a bond that would later allow her to help raise Judith with him.  
"You suspected but you never asked her." Lori's tone accusatory and Rick whipped around to face her.  
"You know what Lori, there's a lot of stuff and things I suspected but tried to leave alone." Rick growled at her.  
"It always comes back to that, Rick." Lori huffed.  
This confrontation was nothing new between them, but Rick was damned sure not about to have it again with her, regarding his lack of evocative exchange with Michonne.  
Rick stomped off through the kitchen were Michonne and Carl still joyfully conversed. He threw the door open and stomped down the path. Only then did he remember that he only wore red socks on his feet, but he continued to surge forward not knowing where exactly he was going.  
Although he ignored her, he could sense that Lori followed him. He was irritated because his feet began to hurt with each step and he figured she floated unaffectedly.  
Quite a while had passed before Lori finally spoke to him. "How long are you going to do this?"  
"Do what?" he had walked for what seemed like an hour, not passing a soul or walker in his tantrum.  
"Run away from your feelings. Block people out." Rick turned to face her then.  
"What are we even doing here? I thought you were the ghost of Christmas past."  
"I am and this day was Christmas. You just didn't know it." Rick looked back up the road to the house that was way too far away now to see.  
"Yes, you are running from a memory. From a lesson you should be learning."  
"A lesson I should be learning? It's your fault that I push people away. You were my wife and I couldn't even trust you or have your support. You didn't even wait until I was cold in the ground or stumbling around dead eyed, consuming flesh before you moved on." He shouted at her but Lori remained calm.  
"You are pushing everything and everyone away for the bare basics. You are becoming cold, Rick."  
He shook his head and glared at her incredulous statement.  
"I'm becoming cold, me?!" Lori just looked at him unaffected.  
"You have nerve!" Rick walked closer to her. "Your little trip down memory lane is done. I'm finished with this." He waved in the air.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yep."  
Rick adjusted his step but before he could get his footing down securely, the stench hit his nostrils then the hands clasped his shoulders. He spun to see a male walker whose face was sliding off. Its teeth chomping at him, trying to make a snack of him. Rick instinctively raised his hands and pushed it back but it came at him again. He reached to his waist but his machete and gun weren't there.  
The snaring walker was on him again and he used his hands to grab its neck, but the skin flipped over like congealed jelly and coated his fingers. The pain or fear of being choked not present in this creature's pursuit of him.  
Rick searched for a weapon to use and noticed Lori was not present. Once again, he was all alone in this so he looked to the dirt road. He knew he needed to get a rock from the ground to dispatch this monster come to life.  
The sound of its teeth cracking together almost made him miss the moans of others that approached, wanting to partake in this would be feast. Rick realized he had no other choice but to fall backwards pulling the walker with him in hopes the rock or stone was close enough to help him in destroying its brain.  
Rick knew the pain to his back would be searing but he had no other choice. So, he purposely tripped his own self, bracing for the hard landing. But instead the walker disappeared and he landed on something soft and plush.  
Rick jumped up panting uncontrollably, he was in his bedroom on his bed. Sweat coated his forehead and he looked around to validate the fact that he was alone.  
With his breathing steadier, he chuckled to himself. He must have had a nightmare. He cackled again and wiped his head then dropped back onto the mattress.  
"This was all a dream." He looked to his watch, it was 1:30AM. "All of it."  
Rick would have normally gotten up to go back on watch but he decided he'd slept so fitfully. He didn't want to have any hallucinations while out there, it could put his life in jeopardy. There had to be a lot of people in town still awake, probably up preparing for the party so he decided to sleep just a little longer. He finally got his body to relax and he passed out again.

It felt like no sooner than Rick fell asleep he was back up. His nerves must have awoken him. He quickly looked at his watch.  
1:59AM  
It was that unnerving feeling of falling asleep and having time actually pass, but feeling as though you have just closed your eyes for a minute. Rick sat up and watched the seconds tick by until the big hand finally moved to twelve, the small firmly on two.  
Rick waited for anything to happen. He looked around for apparitions to be floating in the corners. But nothing was there. He looked to the window but again nothing was there.  
He rubbed his face and chuckled to himself. He was correct before, that it was just a dream. Lori and Bob had been figments of his imagination. Pleas from a tired mind to rest. So he laid back down on the bed and closed his eyes.  
As Rick's body began to relax and he was nearly about to nod off, the echoing of laughter filled the house. It was a deep voice, not belonging to Carl or Michonne. He scrambled from the bed and stepped into his boots then grabbed his red handled machete and slowly opened the door.  
The sound of laughter intensified. Rick looked up and down the halls but no one else came out of the other bedrooms. Maybe everyone else was still out getting ready for the holiday party. Rick creep out of the door and then descended the stairs, careful not to make a sound. The billowy laughter continued when he reached the bottom of the staircase. He stealthily turned the corner to see the back of a white haired man.  
In Rick's living room, the ground around this man was covered in wrapped presents. Rick looked around as he snuck forward, the whole house was decorated. Garland and tinsel were everywhere. A huge pine tree from the smell, stood covered in glass balls and twinkling lights. A glowing star on its peak.  
From the back of him, Rick could see the man seemed to be enjoying himself. Rick was completely confused now; first those dreams now, Santa Claus? What the hell was wrong with him?  
As Rick drew closer, he raised his weapon to be prepared for whatever this white haired intruder had in store for him. A white beard came into view as the visitor turned to Rick while continuing to laugh. Once the rosy cheeked fellow faced the outstretched machete, he stepped forward.  
His laughter finally ceased.  
"Hershel?"


	3. Torch Bearer

Torch Bearer  
"Hi Rick."  
"Hershel?" Rick blinked a few times to make sure he was indeed seeing his dead apocalypse father figure.  
"Look Rick, I've always cut right to the bone with you so I'm not going to stop doing it now."  
Rick's heart ached from the sound of that old raspy tone resonating in his eardrums. He didn't realize until then how much he truly missed the man who tried to steer him the right way.  
Hershel was dressed oddly though; he wore a long green robe with white fuzzy trim. A matching green open crown sat on his head. It looked to be made of the tomato leaves that he and the man had planted back at the prison, only tiny baby cherry tomatoes were present in the greenery.  
"Rick, take hold of my cloak." Hershel extended one arm out, the other held an antique torch that blazed with fire.  
Even with his utter confusion, he did what the man requested and placed a palm on it. This time Rick didn't get the disorienting feeling as they traveled, he smoothly moved to the streets of Alexandria. The community was bustling, people were smiling and waving at one another. Some were placing decorations and others stringing lights outside on lampposts.  
"I hope they don't plan on having those plugged in all night. The generators aren't supposed to be used for that long. Plus all that light can draw unnecessary attention." Rick pointed out over the walls.  
"Rick, you are always on safety watch." Hershel admonished him.  
"Well, apparently I need to be, cause look." Rick waved a hand at the citizens.  
Hershel began to walk and Rick hurried to follow him, noticing the older man's steady gait. Rick assumed he had both his legs since he didn't require the use of a crutch to get around. As they passed the church, Rick realized the doors were open and people were inside. Gabriel was standing by smiling as Nora lead a group in singing Christmas carols to those who sat in the pews.  
As Rick and Hershel walked, the aroma of dishes being prepared inside the homes wafted into the streets. Rick could pick out the sweet and the savory which made his stomach rumble. Hershel looked down at him and chuckled while holding his belly.  
"I haven't been making eating my top priority." Rick explained but Hershel just continued to walk.  
Rick had to admit that once he looked past the use of an abundance of their resources, he was kind of excited to see the community buzzing.  
Hershel began to ascend the steps to Glenn and Maggie's house. Rick followed and raised a fist to knock but Hershel took his hand and they materialized inside the house and drifted up the stairs to the couple's bedroom.  
"Uh, Hershel, this uh makes me uncomfortable and I think it would make you uncomfortable too." Rick reasoned.  
"Normally, it would but we'll only be here for a short while."

"Are you sure?"  
"Glenn, yes."  
"Because the test is expired so…"  
"Glenn, if the hormone is present, it's present."  
Maggie took Glenn's hand and placed the stick in it. Glenn examined it once more while Maggie bit her lip.  
"We're pregnant!" Glenn shouted and grabbed Maggie in a tight hug, spinning her around then suddenly he released her and touched her stomach.  
"Sorry."  
"It's okay Glenn, that won't hurt the baby." Maggie giggled.  
"The baby! We are having a baby." Glenn grabbed her again and kissed her lips before picking her up again. Maggie smiled ear to ear and clung to his neck as they celebrated.  
"Only thing is…" Glenn let her go to listen to her caveat.  
"We're not pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'll be toting the baby, gaining the weight, dealing with swollen ankles and mood swings." Glenn smirked relaxing his nerves and pulled Maggie in for another kiss.  
"Technically, we all will be dealing with the mood swings." They both chuckled before he started to raise her shirt.  
"Glenn, we've got to get to Deanna's to help set up." Maggie halfheartedly argued.  
Rick cringed and the light from the torch temporarily blinded him.

When Rick lowered his hand, they were back outside the house now. Both men looked relieved until Hershel's face dropped. He looked up at the house and started to walk off. Rick followed him, his mind spinning.  
"Hershel, what was that look?"  
The white-haired man looked at him and his eyes reddened.  
"My namesake will not be born. Maggie will develop preeclampsia and suffer a miscarriage towards the end of her second trimester."  
Rick was crestfallen after seeing the joy on the couples faces.  
"Is… is it because I killed Pete? Could he have helped your daughter?"  
"No, it's not because of that."  
"Then what?"  
They approached Morgan Street and Lower Creek Road before Hershel continued.  
"With your safety protocols, no one is allowed out on runs without your approval. No one's allowed to bring anyone back to the so-called safe zone. So the obstetrician you would have meet in the near future, you never meet him. He's not there to help Maggie or the baby."  
Before Rick could even respond, they are in Deanna's townhouse. Activity was going on all over. Couches were being moved to create a dance floor. Tables are being organized with utensils, plates and napkins presumably for a buffet area. Bottles of beverages including alcohol and cups were placed out as well.  
After taking it all in, they drifted to what was Reg's den where Deanna, Spenser and Aaron spoke.  
"Mom, you just have to be ready to do this when it comes to that."  
"Deanna, you had me go out and get people to bring back to teach us how to survive." Aaron offered.  
"I did, but it's getting out of control."  
"He can't be reasoned with. My mother is the leader here and he just came in and took over. It isn't right." Spenser exclaimed.  
"I know, but if you try to exile Rick, the others won't allow it. It'll mean a fight."  
"I've been speaking to some of them."  
"You mean Rosita." Aaron challenged and the two men glared at one another.  
Deanna came to stand in between the two of them pressing her palms to their chests.  
"We just need to reason with Rick. He will come around. We have to give him time." Deanna offered.  
"Mom, I'm telling you, secret meetings are popping up to get rid of him. One way or another." Spenser whispered. "We could make it look like an accident."  
"Spenser, I don't want anyone doing any harm to Rick."  
"Well, you need to do something before the pot boils over." Spenser stated before storming off.  
Aaron and Deanna sighed then looked to one another.  
"What do we do, Aaron?"  
"Morgan's been building a cell; we could put him there."  
"I've considered that but we asked him to come here; holding him against his own will? Just doesn't seem right."  
"I know, but what other choice do we have?"  
Deanna looked sullen.  
"Look, it's Christmas let's just enjoy the day and we can revisit this if it comes to that. Hopefully, it doesn't." Aaron replied.  
"So they want to kick me out…again."  
"Your irrational behavior is going to get you kicked out."  
"Well, that's fine me and my people will just go. Or better yet take this place."  
"Rick…"  
"We considered doing it before."  
"Rick!" Hershel shouted at him. "You would do that to your family? Take their chance at safety and a future away from them because you decided again that this isn't a democracy anymore?"  
Rick began to pace the room.  
"Now, listen here, you cannot ask anyone to give all of this up because you are on a power trip."  
"Power trip? I've been trying to save these people from the minute I got here. It's not my fault they don't want to listen."  
"Rick, I'm telling you, you are out of order. They deserve any moment of happiness and joy they can get their fingers on…" Rick stopped to stare at him.  
"And so do you."  
Rick shook his head like he didn't believe it.  
"Your son's growing up in this world but he's old enough to remember the old one unlike Judith. Doesn't he deserve to stay here?"  
Rick softened, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
When he opened his eyes, they were out near the pond. The gazebo was a clear shot from them. Carl and Enid were wrapping garland around its pillars. Enid would start at the bottom then pass it to Carl to continue at the top. She'd hand him tape and they'd move on to the next one. They smiled nervously at one another when they got close.  
When they completed the next spindle, Enid didn't step away from Carl, she instead kept her eyes locked on his. Carl hesitated for a moment and then reached up to caress her cheek. You could almost see their hearts beating through their chests before Enid leaned in, closing her eyes. Carl studied her face for a second then licked his lips and pressed them to hers.  
The kiss was chaste and sweet. They pecked a few more times, then giggled. Their cheeks red from blushing and their smiles tight since neither could relax their faces.  
Rick smiled happy for his son getting to experience young love. Something he never even thought would be possible when they were out on the road after the fall of the prison. This was the whole reason he fought to find his family in the first place. He wanted his children to explore the milestones he had growing up. He had become so bogged down with survival that he didn't think about what they were surviving for.  
Rick could feel Hershel's gaze on him but he didn't acknowledge it, choosing to wallow in his own pity. Had he been to rash with his commitment to safety? He felt every death and the weight was becoming too much to bear. Michonne had always told him that it wasn't his to bear alone. But it had to be since they asked him to lead. He knew his people were strong because they'd found each other on numerous occasions after separations. Surviving insurmountable odds, not turning on one another during those times. Those events made them the family they were so maybe the Alexandrians would come to the same enlightenment now that they'd seen the world beyond the walls.  
Hershel took his arm startling him from his thoughts. "There's still more to see." Rick looked to him and nodded.  
As the torch light dimmed so did the sky. The sun was setting in Alexandria; Christmas night was here.  
They walked to Deanna's house and through the open front door. Everyone that was present was dressed up, hair was quaffed, even some makeup had been applied. Rick saw Bruce and Francine chatting over drinks. Morgan was informing Tobin of his progress in the martial arts training. Spenser played the piano while Holly and Carol sung a hymn. Heath, Daryl and Eugene were consuming huge plates of food. Kids ran around chasing each other. The joy and exuberance was palpable.  
Rick was looking around and he finally spied her. Michonne was passing Judith to Barbara then she stepped over to join Maggie and Deanna outside the kitchen.  
Rick's heart sped up a beat when he saw Michonne smiling the way she only did for him and his kids. She was allowing her wall down to celebrate in this seasons tidings.  
"Come ladies, I want to show you something." Deanna lead them down to her office space. She stepped over to her desk and rolled out a large piece of paper.  
"What's this?" Maggie and Michonne stepped over to view it.  
"Plans for this place. What it could become."  
Michonne looked it over then grinned. "What it will become."  
All three of the women smiled and continued to chat. Rick wanted to listen in but Hershel had other plans, taking him back to the party where a guessing game was taking place.  
One person was acting out citizens and others would guess who they were. Eric pretended to be holding a large gun then he pointed it and leaned his face near the imaginary scope and shot then looked quietly pleased with himself. Everyone turned to Sasha.  
"Uh huh." they all waited for the shoe to drop but she just burst out laughing.  
"Okay, you got me Eric." the whole room was tickled.  
Jessie stood up and then pretended to straddle a motorcycle.  
"Daryl!" Denise shouted and everyone laughed.  
"That was way too easy." Daryl responded after licking his fingertips finishing his meal.  
"Well, why don't you try?" Jessie countered.  
"Naw."  
"Come on." everyone groaned and Daryl sighed.  
"Alright." he stood and took his vest off and got some catcalls from the room, which he ignored. He tucked his shirt in adjusted his gun belt and moved his jeans to the outsides of his boots. Lastly, he slicked all his hair back away from his face. Everyone was perplexed until he began his own impersonation of a bowlegged stride.  
The room erupted in laughter and people screamed 'Rick'. Daryl half smiled and fixed himself back up.  
"That was spot on! All you needed was him yelling, mean mugging and scaring everyone in town. Waving a gun around." Tobin added which Rick felt unnecessary.  
But the room laughed nonetheless. Hershel joined in too and Rick had to fight the grimace forming on his face.  
A few people began to gather themselves, presumably for their shift changes. Once they departed, others took their place and Rick was happy they'd heeded his warnings. He was surprisingly cheerful that the town folk were enjoying this evening. He was glad that he'd reconsidered and allowed it to go on. He knew he'd had a change of heart and once he was back, he would attend the party, even if just shortly, so they could see he was amenable now. He was paying attention to the lesson being proven to him from the spirits. He wanted this new shot and once it was over, he'd really make an effort so his people would get to keep this new reality they clearly wanted and needed to thrive.  
Hershel still stood by his side when the door opened, Tara, Aaron, Glenn and Scott walked in and everyone greeted them. Deanna, Maggie and Michonne came back upstairs and Scott made a beeline for them.  
"Hey Michonne." he leaned in and kissed Michonne's cheeks and she looked a little shocked but oddly enough didn't rebuff him.  
Scott pointed up and Michonne looked to see mistletoe hanging from the archway then she giggled.  
Maggie and Deanna stepped away leaving the two alone. Rick could feel the tension wrapping around his limps raising his blood pressure. He cocked his head to the side in a threatening manner as though Scott could see him.  
"You need a refill on your drink?" Scott asked.  
"Uh… sure. I worked early so I'm off tonight."  
"Really? That's good. So am I." Scott smiled at her.  
Michonne looked conflicted. She looked past Scott towards the front door. A quick flash of disappointment marred her face before she halfheartedly smiled at Scott.  
"Yeah, let's get that drink and I can fix you a plate. I know you're hungry after your shift."  
"I am, thanks." Scott beamed before putting a hand out for Michonne to lead the way.  
Rick was seething. Who the hell did Scott think he was? Michonne? He was making a move on Michonne. Rick wished he could throw the taller man threw a window like he'd done to Pete. He started to follow them and Hershel took his arm.  
"But I want to-"  
"I know what you want to do. But I'm in charge here and you need to hear something." They stood in the hall peering into the living room.  
"Rick was being a complete asshole to me yesterday at the gate. I'm just doing my part to keep everyone safe." Tara stated.  
Glenn sighed and took a swig of his drink. "I know but I've known Rick right from the beginning of this. I helped rescue him from a dumbass move that nearly got him killed back in Atlanta."  
Rick and Glenn both smiled at the memory. Rick was nearly about to commit suicide rather than starve to death in that abandoned tank. But Glenn helped him get away when he could have just left him for dead.  
"He helped us survive so much, when no one really was prepared to step up and be the leader we needed but he did. When he found his family…" Glenn looked to Carl. "He could've just taken them and left."  
"Honey, I know how you feel but Rick is… different now. It's the same like after…" Maggie held Glenn's hand and Carl spoke up.  
"My Mom died."  
"Carl, that was a tough time for your dad. But he came through it and he can this time too."  
Carl, Maggie, Tara, and a few others looked undecided.  
"But where is he tonight? After everything he didn't even show." Jessie accused.  
"Look, you all are entitled to your opinions but Rick has always been there for me. I can't abandon him. So wherever Rick is tonight, I want us all to wish him a Merry Christmas." Glenn raised his glass and slowly others joined in.  
"Merry Christmas Rick Grimes!"  
"Merry Christmas Rick Grimes." they all echoed Glenn's sentiment and took a sip.  
Hershel turned to Rick and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Even after all of your behavior they are still on your side. Carl, Michonne, Glenn, most of the others too." Rick looked at each person's face seeing the worry was plain.  
"But you've squandered it with your overbearingness. You wouldn't consider anyone else's opinion and now you have waited too long."  
"What do you mean, I could still change this. Come to the party, make amends. They can have a council like at the prison and I can take some time to figure out what I really want."  
He looked to Michonne. "I mean… get the nerve up to really-"  
"It's too late." Hershel bellowed touching Rick's arm and suddenly they were in the woods.

Rick could hear the distant groan of the dead and a chill creep up his spine. It was pinch black out, not even the moon was present to dissuade one's fears. The sky was cloudy; fog was thick blanketing the little distance in front of them to be seen. The tree branches swayed from the wind or perhaps they parted for the remains of what used to be people making their endless march across the rooted earth.  
Once Rick's eyes adjusted, he was able to make out a low light a few feet away. Without prompting, he stepped forward carefully not to make a sound as he readied himself for whatever he'd encounter.  
He could hear the muffled cries before he spotted them. Two women sat at a dim campfire that looked on the verge of extinguishing itself any minute. In one's arms laid a child, maybe a girl. But she was so small and dirty Rick couldn't be sure. A boy sat to their side a bit older and he whimpered while he watched the trio.  
"I can set out again and leave you here and try to find some water and food. There has to be something we can't just sit here and watch…"  
The woman's voice cracked and she wiped a stray tear from her cheek as she rose to stand.  
"You can't. I'm too weak and if something comes I can't defend me and Shawn. There won't be anything for you to come back to."  
The woman's complexion reminded Rick of Michonne's but her skin was ashen and did not glow like the woman he knew.  
The first woman kneeled back down and pulled the boy closer to them and hugged him pressing his head to her bosom.  
Rick could tell they were clearly a family. He didn't know if they become that in this new world or if they already were before.  
"What's wrong with the child?" he asked Hershel.  
"She's caught a bug but combining that with malnutrition and dehydration has her at deaths door." Hershel looked back to the family.  
The mother that held the girl seemed to zone out and just kept rocking her body.  
"I think I hear them coming." The redhead woman pulled a knife from her pocket and stood.  
And sure enough two walkers appeared from the shadows of the trees and headed straight for them. The woman yelled and ran forward jabbing the deteriorated male form first, directly in the head but she stumbled when the blade got jammed sending her crashing to the ground with the walker she dispatched. The other walker dropped down to attack but its missing arm made it roll to its side unbalanced.  
The woman was able to kick out from the heap that smashed her back into the fallen branches beneath her. She scrambled on the ground to her pack to retrieve another weapon. But there was a blood curdling scream.  
Rick, the boy and the woman looked over to see the little girl had reanimated and was taking a bite out of her mother's throat. The woman didn't fight the child off, she just surrendered to her helplessness and the child corpse continued to pull pieces off in her teeth. Satisfying the hunger in death that she couldn't in life.  
"No!" the other woman screamed and the boy ran to her, handing over a crudely sharpened metal remnant.  
The one-armed walker dragged itself to her feet and she kicked it with all her might.  
Rick saw what was coming and he shouted "Behind you!" but they couldn't hear him and another walker came from behind and dropped on her.  
She was able to swing the homemade blade through its head and it dropped near her head.  
"Momma!" the boy tried to alert her.  
He looked to be around nine but malnutrition could have slowed his growth so Rick couldn't really decipher his true age. But her reaction was too slow and the creature at her feet managed to bit into the exposed flesh of her ankle.  
"Ahhh!" she kicked it away again and got to her feet.  
The wound made her stumble but she grabbed her sons hand just as her wife reanimated. She ran into the forest with the child, not daring to look back at the family she had just lost. She knew her fate was sealed as well but maybe her son had a chance. Blood gushed from her wound and she was becoming drowsy. Her sons grip on her hand was the only thing that kept her fighting forward.  
They came to a road and she looked back and forth for a direction to go. Out in the open the moan of the dead beckoned for them.  
Rick noticed there was a discarded board on the ground. He could make out the bottom lettering.  
New homes starting at $800K.  
The center was too distorted but the header read.  
You're almost here. Alexandria next right.  
Rick sighed, he knew this road and he knew exactly where this sign laid. It was an advertisement for his current home, from what it was going to be before the end of the world.  
He looked back over to see the woman had lost her footing and the boy tugged at her.  
"Shawn, baby. Listen." she pulled him to her and hugged him tightly.  
"I'm going to need you to be strong and fight. Momma's not going to make it. But you can."  
Tears barely flowed down his face even though he balled and grabbed her neck. His small body not able to squeeze her the way he wanted.  
"Yes, yes you can. We have to go, Momma! Mommy and Keisha will be here soon; we have to get away from them."  
The woman's heart broke more that he understood what had happened to his other mother and little sister. She wiped his dirty face that the tear stains had cleaned in wavy streaks. She took a blade she had hidden in the boot of her now bitten ankle. She handed it to him and pulled a half-eaten granola bar from her breast pocket and pushed it in his.  
Rick had to wipe his own eyes because his vision had begun to blur.  
"Go." the woman pushed her son away from her.  
"No, Momma." he sobbed but backed away.  
"Go Shawn!" she screamed at him, her body collapsing so she laid her cheek on the cold asphalt.  
Shawn kept backing away until the concrete under his feet turned to dirt. He finally spun around and began to run into the woods.  
"No, you're going the wrong way!" Rick screamed and ran into the road. The fog made it impossible to see where the boy had disappeared to.  
Rick bent over and wailed knowing the boy couldn't hear him only the sound of snarling behind him. He instinctively knew the woman was rising. He still had his machete and he quickly unsheathed it and turned to swing it at her head but it simply passed through her clanging on the ground.  
Her clouded eyes rolled around and she took a step forward dragging the damaged ankle as she passed through Rick. He knew where she was headed.  
Rick whipped around and grabbed Hershel by the white collar of his robe. "What happens to Shawn?"  
That's when Rick realized the light in the torch hadn't gone out completely. Hershel pushed him away and undid his robe shining the faint light at what he'd concealed this whole time.  
Under the bottom were the girl, Keisha still with bits of her mother's skin and muscle hanging from her teeth. The boy stood to her side, half of his face had been eaten away so that his eye hung from its socket like a grotesque yo-yo swinging about. A hideous gurgling sound escaped his throat because his jaw was missing. Even in death this child's hunger would not be sated.  
"I don't want to see this, Hershel. Take them away."  
"What difference does it make to you, Rick? Anyone who dies just makes it easier for you to survive. Less dead weight for others to carry and more resources that need not be shared."  
Rick shook his head left and right. Hershel had used his own words against him.  
"Hershel please." he begged.  
Hershel covered the child walkers back up and he turned and started walking away. Rick faltered behind him.  
"I get it, I… I understand. I can go back and change things. Make things right." Hershel stopped and turned back to him.  
"You're too late Rick, you think you've learned enough but you haven't. There's still one more spirit to visit you."  
"But I don't need to see whatever it has to show me." he pleaded and attempted to step in Hershel's direction but his feet were trapped in the soil. Rick struggled to free himself as he watched Hershel continue on.  
"Hershel, don't leave me like this!" he begged.  
"Don't worry Rick someone's coming to get you. Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come."  
Hershel continued down the clearing into the fog while Rick fought the vines that encircled his legs, snaring him in place. He wanted to step out of his boots and fall to the ground, but the roots held his legs so tightly up to the knees that he couldn't bend them. The bindings continued up his legs to squeeze him around the waist, inching further up his torso.  
Rick tried to grab them but they just tangled his wrists strapping them to his body. His body itched from the creepy scratchy feeling of them rubbing his skin as they invaded his clothing. He began to panic as the strings rose around his neck, to his face, up his cheeks. The ones on his back moved faster threading through his hair and coming over the top to his forehead to meet their friends. Rick hadn't even tried to scream but he wouldn't have been able to now since his mouth and nose were covered.  
Finally, it seemed they slowed, not taking his eyesight. From his peripheral he could make out a figure. It glided against the ground and the sky cleared above so the moon beamed light onto it. It finally came to a stop in front of him, whatever abomination laid below it was hidden by a long black hooded robe.  
Rick couldn't make out anything in the shadow of the hood since it looked away from him. He fought to control his breathing, panicking would not help him. After a few eerie moments, the figure finally turned to face him, a hollow space where a face would be. Rick stained his eyes looking harder, since there should be something inside this cloak.  
It lifted its arms and slid the hood off and there beneath it was bone. A fractured, dry empty skull with a puncture wound to its temple, attached to a spinal column that somehow balancing it without benefit of muscle.  
Its boney jaw seemed to smirk at Rick before it waved its arm again commanding the growth of the vines to cover Rick's eyes stealing his sight once and for all.


	4. Harbinger of Fears

Harbinger of Fears  
Claustrophobia never set in but loss of consciousness did. Rick's body violently jerked, awoken by the feeling of falling. Not from a tremendous height, more like the startle one gets when you think you are on the verge of tumbling off the bed, only to discover you are in the center of your mattress.  
He was on all fours in the dirt. He looked around, trying to discern his location in the dark. It looked vaguely familiar but there were burnt out shells of homes, broken glass and trash on the pavement a few steps away. But the 15-foot-high, 12-foot-wide steel panels and makeshift crosses in the ground let him know exactly where he was. Alexandria.  
What happened?  
Rick fought to stand and looked off to his right, the last Spirit with its black cloak covering it, pointed a boney stark white finger in the direction of two imprecise figures. The pair was partially hidden while digging a deep hole, Rick was indeed in the Alexandria cemetery.  
"Who are they digging that grave for?"  
The ghost continued to point so Rick took that as a que and stepped closer to the gravediggers. As he neared them he could finally make one out somewhat since they were deep into the ground.  
"After all that effort, all the risks we took, I still can't believe it fell." Glenn stated as he held a lantern in his hand.  
The hair on his face and head were longer and he looked a bit disheveled reminding Rick of them on the road to Washington DC from Georgia. The other person he couldn't see, they were bent over throwing dirt out. He could only see the top of the hooded poncho they wore from his position but Rick sprang forward when he heard the voice.  
"But that's exactly what happened." Michonne stopped, throwing her shovel out on to the ground above and started to climb out of the hole.  
"We just got stuck with each other and we were lucky." Glenn handed the lantern to Michonne and reached up a hand for her to assist him getting out.  
Once they were on ground level with Rick his heart beat faster at Michonne's appearance. She was still beautiful as ever but her face reflected agony, reminding him of the first day he met her at the prison. The confrontation the two had when she refused his harboring for her own safety after she passed out at the gate. He could have just brought her into the fence and had her treated there but something made him bring her inside.  
"Sorry, I couldn't help as much." Glenn raised his left arm. His hand was missing and he had a crude hook as a replacement.  
"It's okay, we got it done." Michonne started to walk towards a heap on the ground past them covered in sheets, but when Glenn spoke she turned back to face him.  
"When we were on the road after Beth, even though we were broken down, I knew we'd figure it all out together." Glenn looked around. "It felt like we did."  
"After everything we did." he shook his head and Michonne walked back to him.  
She took his hand in hers and a single tear dropped from her eye than she smirked. "You at least saved a crazy lady with a sword."  
Glenn chuckled halfheartedly then grimaced.  
"Spirit, what happened here? How'd he lose his hand?" Rick begged for some detail to understand what transpired.  
The boney finger again raised this time to its theoretical mouth silencing him.  
"After Rick and I left, we thought you guys would be fine. Even though, we struggled for a while, we made it. Until…" Michonne's voice cracked so she took a deep breath and looked over at one of the burial sites.  
Glenn gazed at the starry sky above. "After Rick killed Spenser for his idiotic group's bumbling attempt to murder him, we all knew that Deanna would banish him. But I still feel like I broke his heart when I didn't want to take Alexandria by force. Maggie was pregnant and I remembered how hard it was with Lori. I just let you guys leave and I shouldn't have."  
"Glenn, it's done now. I didn't have to leave with Rick. I could've stayed but I had to go and the kids had to come with us. Carl refused to be separated from his father. Enid wanted to be with him so we couldn't stop her from following. None of us could bare to leave Judith here, so we brought her back out into this."  
More tears rolled down Michonne's face while she stood there. Rick touched his face not even realizing that he wept along with her. Not knowing the reason for her pain was frightening to him. They had always been so in sync but right now he couldn't reach her even with her standing so close. Their connection was severed.  
Rick's mind spiraled, he'd killed Deanna's last surviving family member when the fool decided to go forth with the plan he'd just seen with the ghost of Christmas present. That justified action to save his own life was enough for him to finally be exiled.  
He wanted to say he was surprised by some of his family's decision not to mutiny. Daryl, Glenn, and Michonne had tried to tell him but he didn't listen. He was so stuck on not taking chances and not wanted to lose anyone else he loved, but it seemed like that's exactly what ended up happening.  
But it meant something that Michonne had decided to depart with him and his kids even though she could've stayed and possibly had a future with someone else, like Scott. After everything she was still with him and he wondered what had become of their connection. But, now he needed to know what happened to his kids. Where was everyone else?  
From his peripheral, the ghost walked into his field of vision and as it passed in front of him, behind it Rick's view changed. They now stood in a reasonably sized cabin with a low flame burning in the fireplace.  
Michonne stood to the side with Judith in her arms, frantically reading a piece of paper. She'd put it down and look out the window only to return to it again. Her face was nervous so she rocked the toddler to calm herself more than the child.  
The door flew open and a greyer version of Rick stomped inside, sweat dampened his curls and he began to pace. Michonne already knew the answer so she didn't need to ask the question.  
"I can't believe Carl would do something like this." he griped as he pivoted to cover more square footage.  
"He loves her." she held up the letter.  
"So…so he runs off after her? Abandons his family?" he waved his hand in the air for emphasis. "I knew when I found out she was running off, climbing the walls of Alexandria I should've stopped him from seeing her but I wanted him to have love, so I…" Rick ranted but his volume lowered as he spoke.  
"You wanted him to have better than what you had. You are angry because he had the courage to do what you wouldn't."  
'Cough ough'   
Michonne rubbed Judith's back.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rick stopped to gawk at her.  
"You know exactly what I mean, Rick." Michonne glared at him in return.  
'Cough ough' They both looked to the girl.  
"I'm gonna head back out and look for him some more. I was thinking that maybe he'd go back to Virginia. Maybe he'd think she'd go there?" He fidgeted with his greying facial hair.  
"All the way back from West Virginia?" Michonne contemplated. "It makes sense, he could have. She could have, but Judith has this cough. I'm not sure what it is."  
"Do we still have cold medicine and those herbs Hershel taught us about?"  
"Yes, but not much."  
"While I'm gone I can scavenge for more. If I get to Alexandria, I'm sure they'll give me something if it's for her." he started to grab some supplies.  
"I'll take the horse. I don't want to leave you here alone without the car. You'll need it for runs." Michonne nodded and bounced the girl who now whimpered.  
Once Rick had his bag packed, he came over to Michonne and looked in her eyes. He pretended to be confident but he was melancholy inside. He'd miss her and Judy but he needed to get his son back. He had to find Carl. He kissed Judy's head and ran his fingers over her hair. He caught Michonne's gloomy brown eyes one last time before he stepped away and headed out the door.

A skeletal hand clasping his arm shook Rick from his trance. His instinct made him try to pull away but the fingers held him tight before a dizzying feeling struck him. He became nauseous and he closed his eyes to stop the awful taste of bile from making him vomit.  
When he opened his eyes, he was inside the walls of Alexandria again but this time it was as he'd remembered it, mostly. He spied sentries on the walls that he didn't recognize. The streets were empty except for a few who worked in the garden.  
Rick spotted someone climbing over the wall behind Maggie and Glenn's house. He hoped it was Enid or Carl so he headed that direction. Once he rounded the corner to the back of the house, instead of one of the teenagers, he found the future version of himself sneaking up to the home. The back door cracked open slightly and Glenn poked his head out.  
"Get in here." he whispered and Rick hustled up the stairs and into the house.  
Rick wanted to hear what was being discussed so he stepped up to the house and attempted to press his ear to the backdoor but his body fell through, right into the home as though no barrier stood in his way. After he steadied himself he tipped to the hall to eavesdrop.  
"What are you doing here, Rick?" Glenn muttered.  
"Who are those guys on the wall guarding this place? Did Deanna let people in after she kicked me out?"  
Glenn sighed. "No… Deanna's dead."  
"What?" Rick looked incredulously at his old friend.  
"Negan. That group that Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham crossed paths with."  
"Uh huh."  
"They showed up here about five months ago. They had us surrounded on all sides. They have more men than we could even think of."  
Rick ran a hand down his face. "So like I said, we should have made more watch points and we could have been ready."  
"No Rick, we never had the numbers or the weapons to match them. There are others communities they've been doing this to." Glenn huffed. "He calls his people the Saviors."  
"Saviors?"  
"They keep the walkers and other alleged threats away in exchange for food, supplies, medicine and…and other things." Glenn hesitated.  
"What other things?"  
Glenn walked to the lone chair in the dining room and sat holding his head in his hands.  
Rick noted he still had two for now.  
"When they first come, they want to make sure you comply so they take someone and beat them to death with a barbed wire bat. They take pictures as trophies."  
Rick wavered in his step towards Glenn and he looked around to see the house sparsely furnished unlike how it had been. "Who?" Rick's voice trembled.  
Glenn looked up with tears in his eyes. "First Abraham, then…Daryl."  
Rick stumbled back. "Daryl? Daryl?" he pressed his hand to his head.  
His eyes welled up at the unfathomable. Daryl was a survivor, someone he thought would outlive them all. He always imagined him as some old mountain man, persisting in the wilds.  
"He attacked one of the saviors after Negan killed Abe, so that was his punishment. One of his saviors killed Deanna randomly when Rosita took a misguided shot at Negan on one of his trips to pick up our offering."  
"What about everyone else?"  
"Some are here still to work; we are allowed to go on runs but they take most of what we bring back or grow. They want more and more each time; we are barely holding on."  
"He killed anyone who fought against him but I'm here now, I can help."  
"Yes, but Rick…" Glenn stood to come over to him. "He took some people as slaves or for punishment. He took…Carl."  
Rick looked up. "Carl?"  
Glenn nodded. "Negan came knocking one day unexpectantly, he said he had a surprise for us. It was Carl in a soiled sweat suit with an A on his chest. He said he liked Carl but he wanted to check out his story of being from Alexandria. We verified that it was the truth but Carl was…was-"  
"Carl was what?" Rick urged.  
"He had a huge burn scar on the side of his face. Negan said he couldn't behave so he got the iron."  
Rick became furious and started to head for the front door.  
"Rick, you can't, they will kill you. You don't even know where the Sanctuary is, come on man."  
"That's where they live?" Rick tried to push Glenn to the side but he was weakened from his journey.  
"Rick, what made you come back here?" Glenn sidetracked him.  
"I was looking for Carl. He'd run off after Enid ran away." then he added. "Judith maybe sick, she has a cough and I need medicine for her."  
Glenn went to the floor boards in the closet under the stairs and popped a panel out. He fished out a few bottles and handed them to Rick.  
"That's antibiotics, fever reducer and cold medicine too. Take them to her."  
"But…my boy." Rick struggled.  
"For now, Carl is ok. Negan likes him so as long as he behaves, he'll be fine. You need to check on Judith. She's with Michonne, right?"  
"Yeah." Rick's reddened eyes burned.  
"Get those meds to her. We are working on a plan but we would be grateful if you two would come back to help us."  
"How?"  
"There's another community called Hollowbrook, that Heath and Tara came across on a long run. They have a lot of fighters and weapons. We can join with them and get out of this."  
Rick thought for a minute. "Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can."  
The men peaked out the window before Rick opened the door for a quick look before he sprinted for the wall he had fought to climb over. Glenn watched him successfully scale it then he went back inside.  
Rick was startled again by the eerie presence of the apparition that suddenly appeared next to him.  
"Wait, where's Maggie? Glenn never said." he asked the hollowed out shell as though he'd get an answer.  
The hand reached out for him again but Rick was quicker this time and jumped back before it could touch him.  
"I need some answers. I can't learn a lesson if I can't get any questions answered and what's the point of all this, Hershel said it was too late?"  
Rick felt himself mad for shouting at a disembodied robe but he had no other recourse. The phantom stepped back, flipping the hood off to reveal the skull with the puncture wound again.  
There was a sickening sound of what could only be described as flesh being torn. Rick could place it from memories of trips with his parents to the butcher shop in his childhood. He would hear the sounds again in this new world when walkers ripped into flesh to make bite sized pieces to consume. Rick closed his eyes for a second to focus, this reverberation was unique almost that it was in reverse.  
His eyes shot open to see the garment beginning to fill instead of hanging limply. It pressed out to build a frame. Rick's nerves tingled, making him prickly as he started to see muscle and sinew spread up the spinal column, making its way to the sides of the skull. Liquids and fluids flowed in the direction to counter gravity wrapping around the abomination before him.  
Every part of Rick wanted to escape, but his legs were stuck like when Hershel had him trapped. So he did what he could only do, watch in horror. The tissues started to connect and strap together, looking like an exhibit at a Bodies Exhibition he'd once visited. Skin and then hair sprouted from its head. The membrane rolling down the face and its brown hair grew longer to its newly forming ears. The facial features began to shape and Rick knew exactly who this was. A cocky grin was on his face before it was even complete.  
"I should've known it would be you."  
"Well, hello to you too, Brother."  
Rick sighed at the sound of Shane's voice then he watched as the last thing to form on his face was the gunshot wound to his head, supplied by Carl putting him down after he turned.  
"Why do you have hair?"  
"All of this happening and you wanna know why I have hair?" Shane chuckled. "If I was gonna have to come back and see you after you stabbed me, then I wanted to look my finest." Shane circled him.  
"That puncture wound says otherwise."  
"Well, you might be right about that." Shane chuckled running his hands through his hair.  
"So are you going to answer any of my questions?"  
"I was answering them but you are so damned impatient, you always gotta be in charge."  
"Really Shane? We have to do this now? In my delusion, no less."  
"Delusion? Oh no brother this is what's really happening. So let's see…what happened to Glenn's hand?"  
Shane snapped his fingers and Rick was hit with a jarring flash of a vision. He saw a man chopping Glenn's left hand off as people held him down then the man tossed the appendage into a furnace with a raging fire. Before Rick could really register what he'd seen he was sucked back out.  
"But why?" Rick managed to get out before Shane snapped his fingers again.  
Another vision sunk into his mind, a lanky dark haired man holding a door open for Maggie to enter and Glenn being held by men again to stop him from being able to get to her. His friend cried, screamed, fought and begged to no avail.  
"I'm sorry Glenn, I love you." Maggie stated as she walked through the door with the smirking man following her.  
Rick was pulled out once more and dizziness set in, sending him to his knee. "What, what was that?" Rick asked while fighting his vertigo.  
"You have so many questions, Rick. Don't nobody use context clues no more?"  
Shane came to kneel in front of him. "That was the man, the myth, the legend. Negan in the flesh. Yeah see, he took Maggie as his wife as compensation so he wouldn't kill everyone in your old community."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Negan found out about Hollowbrook and Alexandria's plans to fight back so he slaughtered all the males there to keep the females in check."  
Shane shrugged. "Maggie sacrificed herself to keep Glenn's head intact. He refused to accept it so Negan took his hand to teach him a lesson. Yeah, that whole little coup d'etat, didn't go over well."  
"But didn't I come back?"  
"Did you see you? You could barely get back over that wall." Shane chuckled to Rick's irritation.  
Shane stood and rubbed his chin. "Wait, you know what question I didn't answer?"  
Rick did remember.  
"Yeah, that one. Let's go see."  
Shane yanked his arm shifting him to the side, the same sourness invaded his mouth before he found himself back on his knees in the burnt out cemetery again.  
Michonne wiped her eyes. "We should get this over with, that new threat could be out here."  
"Yeah, you're right."  
Glenn and Michonne walked to the sheets and each took an end. They picked it up and carried it to the hole they'd just dug. After they set it on the ground near the pit, Michonne climbed in so that Glenn could shift it to her so that she could pull it inside. They struggled and one of the sheets began to shift. The weight was too much for Michonne and she fell back with the heap landing on her legs trapping her. She looked down and saw his face and tears instantly began to flow.  
"I'm so sorry." Glenn jumped in after her.  
Shane pushed Rick forward. "Go have a look, it was your question."  
Rick nervously stepped forward and looked down into the grave to see his own dead face looking up at him. The same nausea struck him but he knew it was his own doing and not Shane's. He fell to his knees and watched Michonne rub his hair from his face as she bawled. Glenn cried softly too as he scrambled to help her from under the body.  
"Michonne, you can do it, stand up."  
"No, just leave me here with them."  
"I won't, give me your hand."  
After a moment she took his outstretched hand and slipped carefully from under Rick's body. She bent to kiss his head and covered him back up with the sheet.  
"Let's finish this." Michonne clambered out of the grave and assisted Glenn out. The two started to shovel dirt in while they silently weep.  
"How…how did it happen?" Rick asked Shane.  
"Let me see…remember that chick you were wasting time with instead of being with her?" he pointed to Michonne. "Uh…Jessie. You killed her husband and you didn't think there'd be any hitches." Shane strutted around.  
"Well, after the Saviors burnt this place to the ground, Ron ran away and right into the arms of the Whispers. That's the newest threat that Michonne was talking about. He joined up with them. They stumble around dressed like the dead, and one day to Ron's surprise, he saw you and well, your goose was cooked. You thought he was just the ole run of the mill walker and he snuck you, kinda like you did me." Shane chortled.  
"Rode your horse home to Michonne, stumbling and bleeding to death. There was nothing she could do."  
"She had to put me down." Rick cried when he realized what she had to live with.  
Shane nodded. "Let me ask you a question, what did you just hear Michonne say?"  
Rick's mind scrambled to replay everything she just said and it popped to the forefront of his mind.  
"Yeah, that's right, she said 'them'."  
"Carl…?"  
"He's not a weak boy anymore. Negan took him under his wing, he's his right hand man now. That cruelty from when he put that boy down at the prison was festering in him and well, there it is."  
Rick looked despondent. "So…?" he barely wanted a response.  
"She had my eyes, luckily not my nose or ears." Shane pointed to a grave marker and Rick ran to it dropping to his knees when he saw the name etched into the wood.  
Judith Grimes.  
Rick openly sobbed and fell to the earth. His body shook as he wailed. He'd look back up to make sure he'd really seen correctly only to give his pain sound again. Shane came over and took pity on him rubbing his back.  
He spoke softly to Rick. "She had walking pneumonia; you didn't have enough antibiotics to completely kill the bacteria."  
"You were right, I couldn't keep them safe…" Rick whimpered.  
"Oh no Brother, you stepped up, took a page right outta my book and I'm glad you did it then. You kneeled down, dug deep, you found the rage, the hatred. You found it, the loyalty. It was in there, you found it." Rick rolled over to stare at him.  
"You had to get it done. I like to take credit for that when I think about it. I'm sure others did influence you but I'd like to take full credit."  
Rick looked to Glenn and Michonne who still tossed dirt on to his body.  
"You wanna know what this is all about? This right here with you, me and all the ghosts."  
"That's all I asked."  
"Yeah, you did ask, so now I'm gonna tell ya and I want you to listen carefully. It's not just you anymore."  
"It had to be me, still has to be me."  
"Yeah see Rick yeah, I think that's where you're wrong. It had to be me."  
Rick turned to him. "You?"  
"I am the asshole. I forced your hand and you took it."  
"I didn't want it."  
Shane kneeled. "I know, but now you can put it aside. Pull it up when you need it, but this group is strong now so you don't have to do it all alone anymore. You taught em, more than I could've done."  
"I'm sorry for what I did to you."  
"You need to forget that shit." Shane patted him and stood.  
He reached a hand down to Rick and pulled him to his feet.  
"This has to get done."  
Shane looked over to Glenn and Michonne again. They had finished burying Rick. Michonne grabbed a bag off the ground and removed Rick's watch and presented it to Glenn.  
"You should keep it." he responded.  
"No, I have this." Michonne pulled her necklace out to show him Rick's wedding ring accompanied her M now, so he took the watch.  
"I'm starting a collection on timepieces now." He grimly laughed, looking at the contents in his hand.  
Michonne removed Rick's Colt Python from the bag and sat it on top of the grave.  
"You should come with me to Oceanside. That's where the women of Hollowbrook went to."  
"No, I'm going back on a…break."  
Michonne walked with Glenn behind her, in between the houses were two chained walkers carrying her backpacks with supplies. She took hold of the chain and pulled them in her direction.  
Glenn sighed and went to a nearby car and started to climb in but turned back to her.  
"The world's not what we thought it was."  
"Especially without Rick Grimes." she returned.  
The two nodded to one another before Glenn slid in, started the engine and pulled off. Michonne yanked the chain, pulling her pets along as she strolled up Morgan Street, leaving Rick there watching her get smaller and smaller in the distance.  
He just wanted a chance to make this right, hopefully it wasn't too late.


	5. The Day

The Day  
Rick woke with a startle, happily surprised to find himself in his bedroom, still in bed. Everything was the way it was before he saw Bob. His gun belt and red machete were on the floor near the end of the bedframe, his boots by the door. Out the window dawn was on the horizon. He looked at his watch, 6:47AM it read and his mind replayed flashes of the night's events to him.  
Rick jumped up and jogged to the door, opening it to tip toe down the hall to Carl's room. He cracked the door open to thankfully find his son sleeping. He repeated the same action with Michonne's room, first pressing his ear to the door to make sure he wasn't invading too much of her privacy, to find her and Judy nuzzled up together in her bed. He smiled at the sight, happy his family was indeed intact.  
He slowly closed the door and returns to his room to retrieve his gear. He looked out the window to see Spenser walking down the street.  
"Spenser!"  
The man was surprised by Rick's voice and looked up in confusion.  
"Uh yeah?"  
"What's today?"  
"Umm, it's Christmas."  
"It is Christmas, right?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you." He states, leaving Spenser to walk off more muddled than ever.  
Rick grabs his jacket and runs down the stairs to gather a few supplies and a weapon before heading out. Once he reached the bottom of the porch stairs he was taken aback by the wonder of the town all dressed up. Garland, bows, and lights were strung up everywhere. Homemade Christmas cards and signs were taped to the front door of homes. They used ornaments to make the bushes outside look festive in lieu of tress. Rick was astonished by the turnaround that the people of Alexandria had accomplished in just a few hours. It just invigorated him to get his mission completed.  
He was at a near jog, headed for the main gate with his satchel. Not many people were out but the ones he passed had shocked expressions on their faces when he spoke to them.  
"Merry Christmas!"  
"Happy Holidays!"  
Some managed to return his sentiment, but bewilderment was clearly evident on their faces. Bruce and Tobin were on watch duty that morning. They didn't notice Rick's arrival early enough, so Bruce scurried down the ladder to get the gate for him, not wanting to endure his wraith.  
"Take your time."  
Rick told him with a smile and he stopped mid-rung, looking skeptically at him before continuing at a slower pace. He pulled the gate open and waited for Rick to exit.  
"Thank you. I'm gonna take one of the cars at the end, I'll be back." The two guards looked at one another but Rick just smiled.  
As he sauntered out, he saluted Sasha in the tower. "Merry Christmas." he uttered before departing.

It had taken Rick longer than he expected to get his list complete, but he finally had it done. He drove up to the gates and flickered his headlights before parking the car back at the end of the defense blockage.  
"This is it."  
He looked to his passengers in the back seat whose eyes were open in amazement. The two women looked at one another and squeezed hands, then eyed the kids that sat between them.  
"Keisha, Shawn, we're here."  
The kids grinned after looking up from eating their fruit and bread. Rick climbed out the car and went to the trunk, grabbing the two large sacks he had deposited there earlier. The family got out, scanning the area as the gates opened. The lights for the Christmas holiday twinkling in the dusk captured their attention.  
"Wow!" the kids exclaimed and their mother's jaws dropped.  
"Welcome to Alexandria." Rick smiled and ushered them forward.  
When they approached the entrance, Tara appeared. "Who's this?" she squinted.  
"New arrivals."  
Tara looked pensively at the group then smirked at Rick. "Come in." she high-fived the kids as they walked in.  
Aaron must have been nearby and he came over to see what was going on.  
"Rick?"  
"Aaron, great just the man I wanted to see."  
"Hi." he waved at the newcomers.  
"This is Samantha, Tamara, Keisha and Shawn. They are here to audition for membership in Alexandria."  
Aaron's face lit up and he shook the women's hands.  
"Aaron's the one that usually does the recruiting but I hope he's not mad that's I stole his thunder…for a while now."  
"It's okay Rick." Aaron gave him an accepting look.  
"Could you get them settled in?"  
"Of course, I'll take them to one of the empty houses on our block." he turned back to the family. "We'll get you some clothes, supplies and some food."  
"I'm headed to Olivia's so I can have her bring some groceries by, but I think they should come to our Christmas party."  
"Christmas party?" the kids asked.  
Tara squatted to their height. "Yes, with lots of food and drinks. Music and games and other kids."  
Keisha and Shawn beamed and nearly gravitated from the news while their parents looked on teary eyed.  
"Let me show you the house, I hope it's to your liking."  
"Thank you Rick." the women stated and the kids hugged him before following Aaron.  
Rick turned to Tara who finished locking up the gate.  
"Hey, I'm sorry about before, I was just-"  
"I know." she shrugged.  
"I just meant what you've done for us, you didn't have to after you almost died."  
"That's how it works with us. We're stuck with each other, right?"  
"Right. Thank you."  
Tara smiled and extended her fist and Rick chuckled and bumped it. He picked up his bags and headed up the street to the pantry.  
Just as he was approaching, Olivia and Jessie were stepping out of the garage where the canned goods were stored.  
"Rick?"  
"Olivia, Jessie, it's good you are both here."  
"Why?" pensive looks on the women's faces.  
"Have you defeathered a bird before?"  
"Sure. Chickens before this, but Daryl brings back all sorts of stuff and he's taught me some." Rick reached into one bag and pulled out a huge wild turkey with an arrow through it.  
"It took me forever to catch one but I did it. Thought I would've had it back in time for the dinner tonight but-"  
The two women smiled and took the bag.  
"This is so sweet Rick. We have time since the party's going late to maintain proper guard duty, but even if it's not done tonight we would all love some fresh leftovers tomorrow." Jessie grinned.  
"Also we have some new arrivals, a family. Moms and their young son and daughter. Aaron's setting them up in the house on our street. They'll need the welcome care package when you get a chance but they'll be at the party as well."  
"Sure thing Rick and we can have Denise look them over tomorrow." Olivia suggested.  
"Great idea." Ricked nodded while grinning at the pair.  
"Let me get started on this."  
Olivia took the bag to the butcher block she had set up and got to work.  
"Jessie, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
"Umm, sure Rick." they stepped out of the garage to the side for some privacy.  
"I wanted to talk to you about what happened…before."  
Jessie looked to her feet. "You mean the kiss on the cheek at the party?"  
"Yeah." Rick nodded. "And everything after leading up to Pete."  
Jessie wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him.  
"I umm…projected on to you. Something that I needed to work out from…from before."  
Jessie bit her lip but continued to listen.  
"It was wrong but I was in the middle of losing my mind, I'm sorry."  
Jessie sighed. "I told you I could take care of myself but really I was looking for someone to protect me. To save me from Pete, but we have to save ourselves."  
"No, we can help one another. Everyone should have helped with that situation."  
"I wasn't sure if I had a future." she looked at him longingly.  
"I still don't want you or your boys to die. I don't want anyone here to die. Because there's more." Rick waved in the air and looked her in the eye. "Just not with me."  
Jessie looked crestfallen but she nodded. "Oh."  
"It's just that, I already-"  
Revelation was plain on her face. "No, Rick I understand."  
Rick just nodded, happy she'd so easily excepted the dissolution. "One of the women I brought back was a therapist before all this and she says once she gets acclimated, she'd be willing to take it up again. Maybe you'd like to take the boys to see her."  
"That actually sounds like a good idea. Okay, let me get that care package over to them." She said while turning to head back in.  
She walked back in to assist Olivia, but Rick spoke and she turned around.  
"Thank you for helping. Merry Christmas."  
"Merry Christmas, Rick." She said with a soft smile before disappearing inside.  
Rick felt a percent of weight lift off of him from just that conversation alone as he walked home. When he entered his house, luckily no one was home. He dropped the sack and went upstairs to the bathroom. A nice hot shower was next on his agenda.

After stripping off his dirty clothes and stepping in to the foggy enclosure he let the water wash away his fears. He hoped everything would work out the way he wanted tonight as he bathed and shampooed. Next step was to the vanity to trim his beard that wasn't anywhere as bad as when they first arrived but could use some tending. He used an electric clipper with a low guard that Michonne gave him as another hint, but left a five-o clock shadow this time.  
Rick dressed in his black jeans and denim shirt with his trusty boots, he looked over at his gun belt contemplatively and decided against it. He walked over to get his watch, glancing at the face and realizing he'd taken longer than he anticipated. So he hustled downstairs, making sure to grab the large sack he'd placed in the entry and jogged over to Deanna's townhouse.  
As he neared the beginning of the community, he could see that Heath, Eugene and Carol were at the gates on sentry duty. He had missed the shift change so he ran up the back stairs of the Monroe house as there wasn't enough time to make it to the front entrance. Rick barreled through the door, just in time to see Maggie, Deanna and Michonne coming up the stairs from the downstairs office. Across the way, he could see Scott brighten and begin to walk over. Rick dropped his bag and jogged over almost slipping on the hardwood floor when he came to a stop.  
"Scott!" his voice drew the attention of the other four people in the hallway.  
"Yeah?" the bald man raised an eyebrow.  
"Umm, great job on guard duty today. You are really stepping up in a big way around here."  
"Thank you." Scott was perplexed and he drew the words out.  
Rick stepped forward and shook his hand. "You should get yourself something to eat, I know you have to be hungry."  
"I-I am but…" Scott looked to Michonne and back to Rick who stood a little straighter. "Okay, Merry Christmas."  
"Merry Christmas." the women all returned.  
After watching a dejected Scott walk away, they all turned to Rick.  
"Rick, are you okay?" Deanna asked and he readjusted himself from his rushed entrance running a hand through his hair while the women squinted eyes at him.  
"Yep…yeah. I've been thinking about a few things. I'd like to take a step back in my role as head of security."  
Again confusion marred the ladies faces.  
"Remember how it was at the prison?" he addressed Maggie and Michonne." We should have a council that makes decisions in Alexandria, so no one bares the stress all on their own."  
Deanna opened her mouth but Rick cut her off.  
"You were a councilwoman, right?" Deanna nodded. "So you believe in a democracy? Well, that's what I'm pitching."  
Maggie and Michonne grinned at Deanna.  
"So Rick you've had an 'Ah Ha' moment and decided to remove me as leader?"  
"Not remove, but give you some support. You're still the president but you get a cabinet. Maybe you could get Spenser in on this, he knew what his father and you wanted for this place right from the beginning."  
"I had a feeling about you, Rick." Deanna smiled.  
Maggie questioned. "What will you do?"  
"We should switch, I'm thinking about going back to being a farmer, what do you think?"  
"I think we can hustle you up some overalls for when your belly comes in." They all laughed and it reminded Rick of a conversation he'd had with her father before.  
"He doesn't need the overalls, he did just fine if I'm remembering correctly." Michonne coyly stated.  
Rick caught her eye and his heart sped up, his palms got clammy and his stomach flipped. He bit his lip, he was so overjoyed that the connection was still there.  
"Umm…Deanna lets go talk about those plans." Maggie offered.  
"Sure, let's do that." Deanna smirked and the two walked away, leaving Rick and Michonne alone together.  
"Michonne, I'm sorry."  
"For what?"  
"For everything. The way I've been acting. For not listening to you."  
"It's okay." she looked at him with sincerity.  
Rick chuckled. "You've always been right."  
"You are just now realizing this?" she smiled with her pearly white teeth showing. The smile that was reserved for him and his kids.  
"It took me a little time to catch up but I'm here now."  
The pair gazed at one another until Rick heard Glenn's voice from the living room. He was conflicted but he knew he needed to do this.  
"Don't leave, I need to talk to you but I have to-" he used his thumb to point over his shoulder and Michonne nodded her understanding.  
Before he could even think about it, he leaned in to quickly kiss her forehead. When he pulled away Michonne was blushing but her eyes inquiring so he pointed up.  
"Mistletoe."  
She laughed as he backed up reluctantly, looking way.  
"…he could've just taken his family and left." Glenn was finishing his sentence.  
"I couldn't." Rick announced making his entrance and everyone turned to stare at him.  
Rick walked to the middle of the floor where Glenn stood.  
"I couldn't because you were my family." He looked at Glenn. "You're my best friend."  
He draped an arm around the man's shoulder. Glenn looked to Maggie who happily smiled back at him.  
"Now that I'm here, you all are my family. Aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews…but mostly cousins." Everyone erupted in laughter at his dad joke.  
"I know I've been difficult."  
Some people grunted, others shook their head in agreement.  
"I was scared to lose anyone else so I kept you at arm's length, but I've seen what you can do and we will be ready for the next fight, but we'll also have joy, laughter and love." he looked to Michonne who stood in the threshold.  
"So we remember what we are fighting for and when the next threat comes they will know, they screwed with the wrong people." Everyone clapped and hooted.  
"Merry Christmas!"  
"Merry Christmas, Rick!" the whole room responded before the front door opened. Olivia, Jessie, Aaron entered with the new family, trepidation present in their faces.  
"Everyone, this is Samantha, Tamara, Keisha and Shawn. They are new members of Alexandria, please welcome them."  
After the initial shock wore off everyone waved, smiled and took turns welcoming them.  
"I forgot something." Rick skipped to the back and grabbed his plunder, he pulled out a red Santa hat and put it on much to Michonne's delight as she watched him.  
"I've got presents!"  
Rick opened the bag and started handing out items he'd gotten on the run today. The kid's faces lit up and they clambered for a new toy while the adults took the little trinkets for them, passing them around.  
"Feel free to trade." Rick announced as he made his way to Carl who held Judith. He hugged Carl tightly smashing Judy between them.  
"Dad, we can't breathe." Carl joked and Rick stepped back.  
"You came, I can't believe it and with a Santa hat and sack full of gifts."  
"I know right, crazy day." Rick reached in the bag and pulled out a pack of colorful solo cups.  
"These are for you, Judes." the baby clapped and chortled. Rick opened them and gave her one to play with but handed the package to Carl.  
"And these are for you." he handed him a huge pile of comics books.  
"Awesome! Thanks Dad."  
"No problem and by the way, I don't intend on being an idiot for much longer." he looked to Michonne and Carl smiled.  
"Merry Christmas, Dad."  
"Merry Christmas." Rick rubbed his children's hair and walked over to Glenn and Maggie.  
"I just wanna tell you two congrats." he whispered and the couple looked to one another.  
"Did you…?"  
"I was about to ask you the same thing."  
"Naw, just call it Christmas magic." he winked and they smiled then Glenn looked to Maggie who nodded.  
"Will you be the baby's godfather?"  
"Nothing would make me happier but could I ask you two a favor."  
"Sure, Rick." Maggie responded.  
"Enid's been staying with Olivia but she has a connection with you two, would you mind taking her in? You could call it, practice." the couple looked at each other and smiled.  
"We have the space since Tara moved in with Denise. We'd love to." Glenn answered.  
"Let's go ask her if she'd like that." Maggie scanned the room looking for the girl but before they walked off, the trio hugged.  
Rick caught Michonne's eyes when they separated, he started to make his way to her but Daryl got in his way.  
"What the hell's wrong with you?"  
"Nothing, Brother. You were right."  
"Hmm." Daryl grunted.  
"I could've used you out on the run today. It was hard catching that damn wild turkey."  
"You shot a turkey with your Colt? Bird, probably all shot to hell."  
"No, I used your old crossbow." Rick cockily raised an eyebrow.  
"Hmm, it must've been a lucky shot."  
"It was." Rick chuckled and hugged Daryl who returned it. "You should take a bath."  
"Why? So I can smell as pretty as you."  
Rick just laughed again.  
"Rick, got us a turkey!" Daryl shouted and everyone applauded and whistled.  
"It's cooking as we speak." Olivia added.  
While everyone was distracted, Rick made a beeline for Michonne taking her hand, grabbing her jacket and ushering her to the door. They skipped down the steps like a couple of teenagers then wandered to the brightly lit gazebo in comfortable silence. Rick was trying to calm his nerves as they strolled but now his thoughts seemed to jumble and he didn't know what he should say first, so he waited until they stood in the pagoda, looking out at the community.  
"What's your last name?"  
Michonne giggled. "You brought me out here to ask me my last name?"  
He bobbed his head. "Well, you know mine so…"  
"Yeah, you love to introduce yourself. Rick Grimes." she impersonated his accent as best she could and he laughed.  
"Is that what I sound like?"  
"Pretty much." she chuckled. "Hawthorne."  
"Michonne Hawthorne." he tested it out.  
"There's so much I want to know about you." she pivoted to him "I've just been waiting for the right time, the perfect moment."  
Rick looked to the night sky and smiled. "It's like Bob said, I found myself in a place how it used to be and I almost let too much go along the way. I almost let this go." he pointed to the neighbors who rejoiced in the streets then he turned to her. "I almost let you go."  
Rick faced Michonne marveling at the way her brown eyes seemed to shine just for him. He took that as a que before he could lose his courage, stepping closer to her. He reached up to slowly caress her cheek and his heart soothed when she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. He slid his hand to her chin lightly, grasping it to pull her lips to his. The tilt of their heads was in sync as they drew one another's lips into their own.  
Michonne's hand came up to run her fingers through his hair making him moan into her mouth. Rick wanted her closer still so he placed his other hand on the small of her back, pulling her body flush with his. The intensity of the kiss picked up when Michonne slipped her tongue into his mouth. Rick was overjoyed that the woman who'd been right here this whole time was actually reciprocating.  
Rick was thoroughly enjoying this but he wanted to make sure she knew what this meant to him so he slowly withdrew his lips and Michonne opened her eyes.  
"This is something I think I've always wanted. I'm ready and I want to make sure you-"  
"Yes."  
Michonne responded before he could even get the rest out, making him grin. She moved in closer, touching his chest but looking him in his eyes while he hung on her every word.  
"I used to feel so lost, so alone, so desperate for something, anything that might show me the way. After all that time surrounded by darkness, there was a flash of light, a beacon calling to me and it led me…to you at that fence."  
Rick leaned in to capture her lips again, sucking to let her know he had the same passion for her. The magnitude of the kiss picked up, their tongues tangled and their hands roamed the others body. Rick opened his eyes just to make sure this was truly happening and he noticed his Santa hat on the ground at the gazebos step. It reminded him of something so he reluctantly ended the kiss again, much to Michonne's exasperation.  
"I've just forgotten something. Hold out your hand."  
Michonne's face lit up and she looked like she was about to levitate. "You got me a gift? But I didn't get you anything." her face apologetic.  
"It's okay, I was being a bit of a Scrooge."  
Michonne giggled pressing a hand to her lips. "You were, weren't you?"  
"Yeah." Rick chuckled. "It's just a little something but you have to close your eyes first."  
She did quickly and held her open hand out before Rick fished in his pocket. He placed an item in her hand.  
"You can open them."  
When Michonne did, she looked in his blue eyes first, assuring him she'd appreciate whatever he'd gotten her before she looked down. A gold 'R' pendent sat in her palm and she locked eyes with him even though hers were glassy now. She reached up and undid her necklace, sliding the new piece onto the chain next to her 'M' then she started to put it back on.  
"Let me."  
She handed it to him and Rick stepped closer, reaching his hands around her and clasping the necklace at the back of her neck.  
"Do you like it?" Rick looked hopeful.  
Michonne grinned while she ran her fingertips over the 'R' that now laid on her chest. "No Rick, I love it."  
Rick leaned in to catch her eyes. "I love you Michonne Hawthorne."  
"I love you too Rick Grimes."  
Another kiss sealed the deal for them.  
"Merry Christmas."  
"Merry Christmas, Baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N**~~~ Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone! Who told me to write three multi chapter fics at the same time? *sweating* lmao but I got it done. I hope they don't feel rushed.  
> I actually wrote a different smuttier end to this first then thought I did too much lol so I will post the alternate ending in a day or two for anyone that's interested. *wink*  
> Thank you to Tae for inspiring this story and for all of you who read it and supported me this whole time. Hope everyone is in good spirits or that a lil bit of Richonne Magic will help! *Muah*


	6. Alternate Ending (Smut)

**Alternate Ending**

While everyone was distracted, Rick made a beeline for Michonne, taking her hand, grabbing her jacket and ushering her to the door. They skipped down the steps like a couple of teenagers then wandered through the neighborhood, eventually arriving at the house they shared. Rick was trying to calm his nerves as they strolled but now his thoughts seemed to jumble and he didn't know what he should say first, so he waited until they stood on the porch looking out at the community.

"What's your last name?"

Michonne giggled. "You brought me out here to ask me my last name?"

He bobbed his head. "Well, you know mine so…"

"Yeah, you love to introduce yourself. Rick Grimes." she impersonated his accent as best she could, making him laugh.

"Is that what I sound like?"

"Pretty much." she chuckled. "Hawthorne."

"Michonne Hawthorne." he tested it out.

"There's so much I want to know about you." she pivoted to him "I've just been waiting for the right time, the perfect moment."

Rick removed his Santa hat and looked to the night sky smiling. "It's like Bob said, I found myself in a place how it used to be and I almost let too much go along the way. I almost let this go." he gestured to the neighbors who rejoiced in the streets then he turned to her. "I almost let you go."

Rick marveled at the way Michonne's brown eyes seemed to sparkle just for him. He took that as a que before he could lose his courage, stepping closer to her. He reached up to slowly caress her cheek and his heart soothed when she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. He slid his hand to her chin, lightly grasping it to pull her lips to his. The tilt of their heads was in sync as they drew one another's lips into their own.

Michonne's hand came up to run her fingers through his hair, making him moan into her mouth. He wanted her closer still so he placed his other hand on the small of her back, pulling her body flush with his. The intensity of the kiss picked up when Michonne slipped her tongue into his mouth. Rick was overjoyed that the woman who'd been right here this whole time was actually reciprocating.

Rick was thoroughly enjoying this but he knew they deserved some privacy so he slowly withdrew his lips and Michonne opened her eyes.

"Should we go inside?" he shyly suggested.

Michonne demurely nodded and took his hand as they walked into the house, closing the door behind them.

Rick looked to the staircase then back to Michonne's expectant face.

"This is something I've always wanted but I didn't want to rush it. I wanted to come to you complete. And I'm ready now, I just want to make sure you-"

"Yes."

Michonne responded before he could even get the rest out, making him grin. She moved in closer, touching his chest but looking him in his eyes while he hung on her every word.

"I used to feel so lost, so alone, so desperate for something, anything that might show me the way. After all that time surrounded by darkness, there was a flash of light, a beacon calling to me and it led me to that fence…to you."

Rick took her face into his hands then leaned in to capture her lips again, sucking to let her know he had the same passion for her this whole time too. The magnitude of the kiss picked up, their tongues tangled and their hands roamed the others body. He was finally getting to touch her in ways he'd only imagined. Her plump ass was so firm yet soft in his hands when he grasped it, she groaned letting him know she'd yearned for this too.

He didn't want to waste another moment so he stepped her back towards the stairs. Michonne tried to disengage, presumably to go up the stairs but Rick swooped down to hoist her up into his arms so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. He swiftly ascended the stairs and entered his bedroom, kicking the door closed.

Michonne climbed down and Rick removed their jackets, tossing them to the floor. He kissed the skin of her now exposed neck, her sounds of satisfaction music to his ears. Rick grasped the ends of her blouse and drew it up slowly, revealing parts of her body he'd always wanted to see up close. When her cleavage came into view, he couldn't help but to kiss her full mounds before her garment was fully off.

Michonne took his face in her hands and smiled before engaging in a scorching kiss while their tongues danced. She helped Rick unbuckle her belt so he could slide her tight jeans down her legs, planting kisses on her bare skin. Once he assisted her in removing the offending item, he couldn't wait to get his hands on her smooth skin. He ran his palms over her legs as he stood back up and Michonne watched the pleasure in his eyes.

She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra tossing it to the floor. Rick ogled her breasts, he'd always imagined them but to see them in the flesh was a whole other thing. They were perfect and he couldn't wait to taste those chocolate peaks but Michonne backed up to his bed and sat down, sliding herself to the center. Rick hurriedly undressed, leaving his boxer briefs on and climbed on the bed.

Michonne's breathing increased as he scanned her magnificent body. He took hold of the waistband of her cheeky panties, kicking himself for not getting a glimpse at her delectable ass but there'd be time for that later. He slid the thin material down when she raised her hips, removing them entirely. After, he balled them in his fist he raised them to his nose, unable to help himself from inhaling her intoxicating scent, making Michonne bite her lip.

She laid back and used her foot to signal him to remove his. Rick looked down at the right hanging bulge in his boxers then pulled them down to reveal all he had to offer. Michonne didn't shy away from looking at his thickness. Her lips turned up into a very impressed and pleased expression.

Michonne spread her legs, offering Rick a view of her petals and the slickness he had created, making his cock jump. Before he could react, Michonne sat up, kissing him hungrily and pulling his weight onto her. He couldn't believe he was about to be with the woman he desired for so long. That this whole time she returned his affections and he had simply been wasting time. He reached down, rubbing his smooth head in her sap, making Michonne hiss and arch her back.

Rick waited until she eyed him. "Chonne?"

"Rick, make love to me."

Michonne squeezed his shoulders and he didn't need more instruction than that. Rick aligned himself and gradually entered her tight core, inch by inch. They both moaned at the contact and he took his time, waiting for her to acclimate to his large size. He got Michonne's sign of comfort when she began to rock her pelvis to meet his.

The feeling so unreal that Rick had to keep his eyes open to know this was actually happening. With each stroke he wanted to discover everything that made her moan, murmur and hiss. He wasn't concerned with his pleasure, just hers, because once she was gratified, so was he.

The feel of her breasts bouncing against his chest made his mouth water. He grasped one, granting his tongue access to lick on her pebbled nipple. When Michonne's back arched, he knew they'd both enjoy upping the ante, so he angled to take turns sucking both.

" _Oh Rick."_

He always knew that if he got the chance he'd worship her but this was beyond his wildest dreams. As their bodies connected, he moved her leg up so he could go deeper still. Michonne massaged his back and he kissed the inside of her knee then quickened his pace. Not speedily but enough to give her the devotion she deserved. Michonne's hand on his back and in his hair was all he needed but didn't know he could have.

Just then she pulled him back into a feverish kiss and their bodies, now dampened, continued to unite. From the first time they fought side by side to this very moment, they were always in sync and now was no different. They never needed to practice, they just instinctively knew the others moves like in a choreographed dance.

Rick listened to her whimpers and he could feel the building shivers before she cried out, her body shuttering. Rick continued to move but watched the exquisite expression on her face and heard her sighs of fulfillment. The flex of Michonne's muscles soon caused him to meet his own release.

" _Chonne_."

Rick trembled through his climax while Michonne continued to pulse. She rubbed his back and placed kisses to his skin which kept his nerves tingling. After the pair came down somewhat from their high, Rick climbed off of Michonne to lay by her side.

"You mean we could've been doing that this whole time?" Michonne asked as she stared up at the ceiling, still calming herself.

"I know, right?" the two snickered before eventually quieting.

Rick couldn't believe he had just been intimate with her and his body was already priming for the next coupling. He ran his fingertips up the center of her torso making her quiver. Michonne turned to stare at him longingly then pulled his lips to hers again. They were engrossed in a languid kiss when Rick opened his eyes, noticing his Santa hat on the floor. It reminded him of something so he reluctantly ended the kiss, much to Michonne's exasperation.

"Wait, I got you something." Rick went to his pants removing something from his pocket then climbed back on the bed.

"You got me a gift? Michonne sat up to face him with excitement plain on her face then she sighed. "But I didn't get you anything." her face apologetic.

"Us being together is all the gift I need." Michonne softened like butter and leaned over to sweetly peck his lips.

It took Rick a moment to recover but he continued speaking. "Plus it's okay, I was being a bit of a Scrooge."

Michonne giggled pressing a hand to her lips. "You were, weren't you?"

"Yeah." Rick chuckled. "It's just a little something but you have to close your eyes first."

She did quickly while her nude body looked like it was about to levitate. Rick had to force himself to stop rubbernecking before he took one of her hands, placing an item in her palm.

"You can open them."

When Michonne did, she looked in his blue eyes first, assuring him she'd appreciate whatever he'd gotten her before she looked down. A gold 'R' pendent sat in her palm and she locked eyes with him even though hers were glassy now.

"For my necklace?"

"Yeah."

She reached up and unhooked her necklace, sliding the new piece onto the chain in front of the 'M' then she started to put it back on.

"Let me."

She handed it to Rick and he inclined, reaching his hands around her and clasping the jewelry at the back of her neck.

"Do you like it?" Rick looked hopeful.

Michonne grinned while she played with the 'R' that now laid on her chest. "No Rick, I love it."

Rick adoringly gazed at her. "I love you Michonne Hawthorne."

Rick watched her eyes water.

"I love you too Rick Grimes."

Rick was never happier to see _things_. All his hopes and wishes had been fulfilled with just one night of clarity.

Another sensual kiss sealed the deal for them as Rick lowered Michonne to lay on the mattress so he could carry on worshipping her. He kissed and licked a trail down her body while she intertwined her fingers in his hair. Once he got to the apex of Michonne's thighs, he caught her eyes.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Baby."


End file.
